Food Porn 2 (Hot Live Puppy Action)

ALL AMATEUR, BOY-ON-CHICKEN ACTION!
UNEDITED-UNCENSORED-UNCUT




Mommy is a bit of a dom top, so she makes me wear a dog collar and eat dinner in my crate. I have to sit nicely before I am allowed to be locked in my crate to eat, and I'm only released to go when I have sat nicely for her and performed whatever tasks Mistress Mommy deems necessary for the day.


They say that sequels are never as good as the original, but here I think we have an exception, since we have live, unedited action of ME (90 pounds of lean, galumphing wrestling machine) and not so much of Mommy's blather. Here's some background to my video: I eat about 3-4 pounds of raw, human-grade food a day in two meals. But this is not like kibble weight, because my food has a lot of water and no filler. So my poops are very small and don't stink too bad (unless I'm eating cabbage or kale), making them very easy to pick up on the streets of New York.


This dinner consists of:
1 c. ground raw organic vegetables
2T nonfat yogurt
2T canned pumpkin
fish oil and joint supplements
2 raw skinless chicken thighs (with bone)
2 raw skinless chicken drumsticks (with bone)

Oh, I am getting excited just thinking about the next time I can eat! YUM!

Smart = Naughty

I come back from an overnight business trip and Biggie has reverted to naughtiness to get attention. Never mind that since Friday morning I have taught him no fewer than six new commands to keep his mind exercised. The kuvasz' "clownish sense of humor" has taken over. 

His latest self-taught "trick" is to pull the laundry basket out from under the bed to get at the fragrant socks and underwear inside. Oh yeah - and he pulls socks out in pairs. 

I can't say I wasn't warned.  

From the Kuvasz Fanciers of America website: 

Q: How hard is it to obedience train a Kuvasz?

A: Kuvaszok are deviously clever and will attempt to modify or neutralize your training efforts if you bore them with mindless repetition. Use your imagination to vary your practice routine, and persevere! Although they prefer to have their fun in activities of their own invention, Kuvaszok are highly intelligent and are intriguing to train if the owner is more stubborn and persistent than the dog...

Someone more resourceful than I could probably teach him to be a service dog. Then again, knowing Biggie's sense of humor, he would probably try to do laundry in the shower while I was in it.

Training Day (Proud Mommy)

There are a lot of reasons why I was attracted to the Kuvasz breed, but one of them was that I wanted an intelligent dog. Old Boo, a pesky Eskie (American Eskimo), was very quick to learn new things and I liked that "sparkle." Boo (Dog rest his soul), however, doesn't hold a candle to Biggie in terms of brains. Biggie is a creative problem solver, and he likes to "work." As long as there is food involved. Like liver, cold cuts, or cheese. In order to get the treats, he'll come up to me while I am trying to work and practically beg to do some clicker training. And he's got so much adolescent energy. So, my brief continues not to get written, and Biggie learns new tricks. In a grand total of about 30 minutes over the last 24 hours he has learned body cues and commands for: kiss, paw (shake), high hand target, and spin, and we are working on sitting up on his haunches (this one is a challenge and any suggestions on shaping the behavior are most welcome.) Pup after my own heart, I think Biggie is a lefty.

Any other requests?

90 pounds and still a puppy...

Biggie's pretty much recovered from his surgery and he's as playful as ever. It's good to have a dog puppy as pain tolerant as he is because he didn't have to wear the cone much at all. In fact, by Day 2 he'd figured out how to take it off and to reach his nether regions anyway, so the e-collar was pretty much a lost cause. We also tried the "bite-not" which freaked him out less, but he figured out how to get around that one too. 

We tend to forget that at 9 months old there is still a lot of puppy left in him. Here he is 1 week post-op: 

And here's the first video we ever took of him, the night he came home:

Caption contest

He's doing fine, really. Add your captions to the comments...

How strong is a kuvasz?

Biggie crunches raw chicken leg quarters with the bone in a matter of seconds. Here he is at 6 months opening a corrugated cardboard box to find a hoof and then destroying the box in about 5 minutes:

Smartest boyz in the room

Yep, that would be me. I can open my crate door from the inside and the outside with one paw tied behind my back. I can undo my seat belt and open doors. I learn most commands in a single try. (Now whether I execute them in a timely fashion is another matter, but it depends on what the enticements are. Chicken, liver and fish work really well. And bacon.)

Even though Mommy says I have become a little cocky, she is always trying to come up with new ideas for interactive toys and games to keep my mind busy. Because a bored puppy becomes, in my case, a naughty puppy. I find ways to steal socks and hold both of them in my mouth. I don't test Mommy or P-Daddy one bit (I know where my food comes from) but no one else is the boss of me. I have my posse of boyz in the 'hood here - Carlos the super of my domain, Jose who makes the elevator go around, and my best cheerleader who works next door at the place that makes the food for all the Metro Kitchens in the city. He always smells like yummy food and takes pictures of me and my boyz wrestle with me and play all sorts of games that Mommy disapproves of because she thinks they teach me to be bossy. They don't, because I have pretty much got these boyz all under my control. They are so happy they squeal in delight when they see me, and they jump around just as much as I do. I can even jump taller than Carlos.

But I need to go back to doggie day care and be boarded, and for some reason I haven't been going. I'm sure it can't be because of that last incident with the trainer and the new dogwalker I chased away from the apartment in Jurassic Park-like rage. I had to protect our cleaning lady somehow, and my new wisdom teeth were hurting me.

So maybe in order to graduate to the next level of dog socialization I need to learn some more skillz. So for my very first Valentine's Day, Mommy set up a date for me with my very own veteran! I am not a supporter of the war in Iraq because that means that there are lots of pups missing their humans (like Peanut), but I am a big supporter of our veterans. My Daddy is one too.

I am really looking forward to some one-on-one tutoring with my veteran. I saw mommy defrosting a big slab of beef liver this morning so I'm sure I will get lots of tutoring tomorrow.

And you may ask yourself: How did I get here?

While the giant brat is on hiatus, here are some google searches that led random readers here: 

biggie baby pics

I guess someone was looking for Biggie Smalls' baby pictures? Whatever he looked like, I'm sure he didn't look like this. 

hanky poo peanut spell

Now this one really baffles me because I tried this google search and didn't find the blog anywhere. Instead I found sites about people who got off on describing how perfect their poos were, especially if they were peanut-shaped.

porno mama i dog

I was afraid to google this one. Somebody's got some seriously Freudian issues going on here. 

cover me with food and lick it of porn (UK)

Um, it's "off," not "of," ok? The internet is a really perverted place. Here someone was just looking for some relatively vanilla porn - who hasn't played with a little ice cream or whipped cream on a hot summer day? Instead, this Brit got an eyeful of naked puppies! They probably think we Americans are really sick and twisted. 

mr hanky cycle of poo

Biggie's cycle of poo in the early months was pretty much this: Experiencing some distress? Make a poo. Missing Mommy? Make a poo. Out on a walk in the middle of the summer? Too hot to make a poo. Crate a little too big? Make a poo. The poo was voluminous and stinky even though he was eating one of the better brands of kibble - Eagle Pack Holistic. Things changed dramatically once he started on the raw diet at 3 months. Smaller, more compact and less smelly poo. Now his cycle of poo is at least once before the dog run, maybe once in the dog run, and once after leaving. Sometimes they're just 2-3 little peanut-sized turds. Not bad for a 90-ish pound puppy. 

toy that challenge your dog

NOW we're getting somewhere! The Kong Roller (Stuff-a-Ball) and the King Kong are objects of fascination, especially stuffed with treats. The Kong Roller works best with 8-10 pieces of dog biscuit of varying shapes and sizes inside, and then an 11" pizzle threaded through both end holes. The holes are now plugged up so the the pup can hear and smell the other treats inside, but they're too big to come out until the pizzle is finished. Hours of quiet fun until Biggie gets the entire ball stuck so far under the couch that he can't reach it with his paws. 

Other toys of merit: plush puzzle toys (like the Rubik's cube, however, once the dog figures it out, they finish it really quickly and then you have to hunt down the little birds and stuff them back in) and the Jumbo knuckle bone. 

What is key is rotating the toys so that each one is unavailable to your dog for a few days or longer. Then when it is brought out again, it is SO! MUCH! FUN! It's like having a new toy again. 

Extra challenge: Kong roller stuffed with treats and pizzle, sealed in a cardboard box. Just be prepared to clean up all the shredded cardboard. 

staying ahead of pain

Ah yes. Do as I say, not as I did. Stay AHEAD of the pain. In the first few days after an operation, especially one that involves repairing one's 360-degree (100%) labral tear with seven screws, do NOT try to be a hero. There is nothing macho about surviving that part with a minimum of painkillers. Especially if it is your dominant arm that got the fix. It will hurt. Boy, will it hurt. You will cry like a baby if you let the pain set in.  There will be plenty of time to be macho in the weeks and months afterward, when your shoulder is still sore and you are frustrated with the sloooow progress and you are really tired of wearing the same 3 outfits over and over again. For the first 5 days, though, there is absolutely no shame in taking the painkillers as prescribed. And if they say, "Take 1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours," it is PERFECTLY OK to take 2 tablets every 4 hours. Once the pain sets in, it is very VERY hard to chase it away again. Be macho 5-10 days post-op, when you are trying to wean yourself off of the narcotics and onto NSAIDs (like naprosyn, tylenol, motrin). 

P.S. Childproof caps work pretty well on people who've just had shoulder surgery too. Make sure you have access to the pills when you need them. 

puppy stepping in poop

I really don't think your puppy means to do it. If they are cooped up with a wee-wee pad and they have pooped, it's really a good idea to remove the pad ASAP. Otherwise, you run the risk of unmitigated POO DISASTER.  Really, if you can afford a puppy, you can afford to toss a wee-wee pad after it's been pooped on once. No matter how cute your puppy is, I guarantee you she will be 500% less cute when there is poop on her head or ground into her paws. 

You have to be the grownup in this scenario. Some pups, especially pet store pups, do not have the aversion to their own poo that most puppies do. If they poop, have a bag or pooper scooper of piece of paper to pick up the poo right away. Then they can't step in it. 

biggie's girlfriend

With Valentine's Day coming up, Biggie has been making a list. Too many to count, and we're sure we will miss a few, but he has Mata, Zola, Daisy (actually 2 girls named Daisy), Princess, Mameete, and a small adult female Rottie who is significantly smaller than Biggie. And that's just his dog girlfriends. Pretty much any female who lives in our building and some of the men are objects of extreme affection. He doesn't hump them, he just jumps or stands to whisper sweet nothings in their ears and to lick them. then he rubs along their legs and falls on their feet, pinning them until they at least give him a neck and belly rub. 

Well, with Westminster just around the corner, Biggie wishes a GOOD LUCK to his pal Wimsey. We also have a very eventful Valentine's Day planned for Biggie. Stay tuned for details...

Bratty Boy

At last, Mommy is letting me update MY blog. She said she wasn't letting me before because my tests were making me naughty and she needed a break from me because she says if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I think it's really because she started her own blog and isn't paying enough attention to ME.

Well, enough about Mommy, let's talk some more about ME, shall we? I have had a very exciting week. Our neighbors told Mommy that I have been barking a lot when she is at work, and this has become a Problem. I don't see the problem at all. Mommy doesn't like it when I bark, but sometimes it's fun, so I just make sure to do it when no one is home and I can bark as loud and as long as I like. In fact I am being very considerate.

Mommy said it was my tests acting up and I was bored so she tried adding another dogwalker and also having a trainer come in. Well, I didn't like the other dogwalker one bit so I made crazy mean barks and chased him away from my crate! (Have you ever seen the opening scene from Jurassic Park? That was me.) He was a new male who came in without being properly introduced. He needs to pay proper respect to my territory before I will accept him. Roger, my regular walker, knows this and we get along great.

Then I met a trainer the next day and I put my teeth on her hand just to let her know she's not the boss of me unless she has treats. I didn't bite her, I just put my teeth there. Then when I found out she had yummy treats, I lay down next to her and watched her the entire time and showed her all the commands requests* I know. Mommy said she was "at the end of her rope" but I have never seen her on a leash so I don't know what she means. At the same time P-Daddy was away on business - again, I don't understand why humans take so long to do their business! Maybe they should eat more fiber and try wearing the Gentle Leader sometime because that makes me do my business right away so I can come home and get it OFF again.

Anyway, my plan to have my humans cater to all my needs seems to be working perfectly. I have taught them a chase game to play before every walk because I hate the Gentle Leader. I had Mommy with her bad shoulders going for 20 minutes one night. They tried the "touch and come" with high value treats, but as long as I smell the Gentle Leader near them I don't come. Sometimes we vary the chase game and I will sit for them just long enough for them to get close and then we play chase again. I don't need to go potty that badly anyway, and it is shameful being seen outside with that thing on my nose. Plus we live in a "loft" which is basically an indoor dog run with lots of open space to run in circles around the furniture.

Anyway, after we play chase for a while I feel sorry for my people, especially Mommy, so I let her catch me and put the Gentle Leader on. You have to set your people up for success, and that means rewarding them when they give you the behavior you want. So then I walk very calmly and do all my business very quickly and Mommy has started taking me to the dog run every morning to play with all my new friends. Mommy makes me sit nicely before she lets me into the run to play with my friends, and I'm getting a lot better at teaching her that "sit" means I want something. She's pretty good at figuring out what I want, too.

However, I still occasionally bark a bit even when I'm exhausted from the dog run. Somebody has to keep intruders out of the apartment, and that's my job.

*Requests I fulfill when I feel like it:

sit, down, up (stand), stay, here (come), hand target, wait, heel, roll, quiet, drop it, leave it, bedtime, in the car, find it/get it (retrieve, find hidden toy)

Super Tuesday

So it's Super Tuesday. I don't know what makes it so Super more than any other Tuesday, but I heard Mommy saying something about parties. I think Mommy's a Socialist because she is always trying to socialize me and parties are social.

Make sure you go vote, unless you are voting for someone Mommy doesn't like. I vote for all my dog friends and for Roger my walker and more meat for dinner. Oh yeah, and shorter work days for all my people so they can spend more time with us, the dogs.

Guest blogger: Spirit speaks (sort of)

(Ed.: After his last post, Biggie is on a time out from his blog. Someone needs to learn to share.)

Hi every1! Im Spirit, Biggie's 1-n-only sister!

I wanted 2 thank every1 4 giving me the opp 2 tell u about a very strange little dog I met the other day! He can climb trees!



I was out in the yard with my Pop (my real dog daddy) and I was chasing some leaves when suddenly I looked up &  saw this strange little dog up in da tree!!!! Pop said it was a "squerl" but I have never heard of that breed b4. I think they r in the Toy Group bcoz all I wanted 2 do was 2 play with him!!! Anyway that squerl dog was just sitting up there looking at us! I barked at him 2 to come down 2 play but he wouldn't! He just sat there... have u ever heard of such a thing?? Pop got bored & went 2 patrol another part of the yard.


I even tried my best SIT & nothing happened! The squerl just looked at me! Ive never known any dog 2 ignore me! Im the princess!!  Pop looked 4 a while 2 but he said squerls dont rilly like to play with kuvasz. They think we want 2 eat em. All I rilly want 2 do is chase him.  That's all, I promise!

Ttyl, c u l8r! xoxo Spirit :)