2009 Kuvasz Specialty, as told by Spirit

Back in April when we were all too stunned by Josh's death to do much more than plod through life numbly, Biggie and Spirit shared some good news:

KuvaszGrrl: hi biggie

BiggieZ: hey u got a new screen name?

KuvaszGrrl: ya i think it's cooler now that I'm TWO and I'm a Big Girl. hey so guess what

BiggieZ: what?

KuvaszGrrl:I got my second major! And I didn't even need to borrow your P-Daddy after all!

we just got back last night we were gone for 8 days of NO yards just quickie walks on leashes in ucky windy weather

BiggieZ:yards? Is that like a personal dog park? windy weather is sort of fun i pretend im a explorer and stick my nose in the wind

KuvaszGrrl:not the point of my story. listen up!

dani and i drove all the way to kansas for a big show we had to hang out in our crates or the hotel room or the car all the time and there were lots and lots of kuvasz doggies there cuz it was a special show for kuvaszies

BiggieZ:wow cool! was tex there?

KuvaszGrrl:i dont think so because i think he got tutored like you so he doesn't go to those shows and stuff

BiggieZ:oh bummer. if you see tex tell him i said hi. I kind of miss it when he used to sit on me.

KuvaszGrrl:anyway mom had a lot of work to do

BiggieZ:why was Mama Clare doing all that guarding if there were all those kuvasz there why didnt u and dani do your job n guard her?

KuvaszGrrl:silly biggie! there's other work besides guarding!

BiggieZ:is there biskits in this story?

KuvaszGrrl:well anyway, Mama C had to do a lot of work in the hospitality room so she was gone too much and was too tired when she came back to play with us.

BiggieZ:That sounds like my P-Daddy too - he is always at the hospitality and then he is gone a lot and he falls asleep in funny places and doesn't play with me too much...

KuvaszGrrl:One night I got to go into the hospitality room so everyone could admire me --

BiggieZ:--u r a service dogz? Congrat!

KuvaszGrrl:No, no, I was at a show with BILLIONS of other Kuvasz.

BiggieZ:--u were at the aminal hospitality? r u ok??

KuvaszGrrl:ugh. boyz r SO DUMB sometimes! So do u wanna hear about my second major or not?

BiggieZ:ok ok sorry u grrlz are always so sensitive. yeesh go on

KuvaszGrrl:Anyway I had a different handler, Linda, and I had to break her in a little the first day she expected me 2 just race off with her so I did my fast run + then she wanted me to NOT pace, which I won't do if no one hurries me but if someone hurries me then sometimes I pace and since Linda was new and she didn't know how I like to show and so maybe I paced a little that first day.

BiggieZ:I know what u mean when u r doing walkies with someone who doesn't know what u want. Cuz when I'm going with my Momma she is always either saying Biggie hurry up or Biggie waaaaaaaiiiiit or Biggie LEAVE IT!

KuvaszGrrl:ummm sort of like that. I am more elegant at a slow speed --

BiggieZ:--I think u r pretty elegant at any speed and I'm not just saying that because I'm your brudder!

KuvaszGrrl:Thanks biggie but in the ring there are a lot of things we need to do to Be Have. And since I didn't handle Linda so well the 1st day I didn't win much of anything on the actual specialty day, but then I handled her much better the next day and so then the judge, called me a Winners Bitch, which was a 5-point major for me!

BiggieZ:WHO CALLED YOU A BITCH?! I HOPE YOU GAVE THEM A PIECE OF YOUR MIND! WANT ME TO BARK AT THEM??

KuvaszGrrl:No Biggie, you don't need to, that is a good thing! It means I was a Good Grrl at handling my handler and I am very pretty.

BiggieZ:so can you explain this champeen thing again?

KuvaszGrrl:ok so you know u need to get 15 points to be a champion but u hafta get at least 2 majors and if u win at a minor u only get one point at a time and a major is 5 points so i kept going to these shows where there weren't enough kuvasz to be a major so i got a 5 point major a while back and then I won a lot of little shows where i was the prettiest grrl but each time there werent enough kuvasz there so i only got 1 point at a time for each win and so then i had 14 points for the longest time but if i went to another show and only got a 1 point win and got 15 points but it's not a major then i still wouldnt be a champeen because i needed another major and that was why i was asking to borrow ur daddy and then it turned out i didn't need him after all because i got my second major!

BiggieZ:um... so u need 15 and 1 plus 1 and 5 makes um.... and you need 2 points for 5 majors?

KuvaszGrrl:sort of. well, not really. actually, not at all. but you get the idea. My Mom was SO proud and everyone was hugging her and saying something like "come grab your relations." Don't know why Mom since she wasn't even in the ring with me.

BiggieZ:Who knows why our Mommas do what they do. Sometimes I think they r a little stoopid... hehe. (looks around nervously for Momma)

KuvaszGrrl:Well you haven't even heard the bestest part! After my major, I got to go in the ring with ALL the other champions! And I was just standing there being a pretty girl and all of a sudden the judge picked a boy for Best of Breed and ME for Best of Opposite Sex .. over ALL of those Big Girl Champions!!!

BiggieZ: Wow! wtg Spirit! You are da BOS!!!! is that how u spel bos?

KuvaszGrrl:i think so anyway now we have to be extra nice to Dani cuz he didn't win a thing at the Specialty. I think he is so much more handsome than many of the other boys there, but most judges don't think his nice, broad head is *in style* at this time.

BiggieZ:that's too bad. is he all bummed out?

KuvaszGrrl:not really cuz he he LOVES to show and he doesn't know any better. Every single judge told his handler "he sure is one happy fellow"

BiggieZ:maybe hes happy cuz he got special attention from Mom and cuz it's like a sleepover without your Yani Pop and Mama Snow?

KuvaszGrrl:Maybe... anyhowzits, here's a picture of me, lookit me I am da BOS!

Awards and More Sad News:

1. AWARD: Kess and her Mama passed this International Bloggers Community award to me. Here's the details:

The rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Copy the image, rules and questionnaire.
3. Post in your blog.
4. Answer the four questions.
5. Pick 7 friends to share with.
6. Come back to BLoGGiSTaiNFoCoRNeR at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com/ and leave the URL of your post in order for your blog to be added to the master list.
7. Have fun.

Questions and answers:
1. The person who tagged you? Kess and her Mama. (I suspect it was Mama since she has opposable thumbs)
2. His or her site title and URL? It's a Dog's Life
3.Date you were tagged? May 28, 2009
4. Persons you tagged? Well, I'm sort of bad at this and I think I'm so late that everyone's been tagged already. So in a spirit of inclusiveness for the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall, if you want to join the International Bloggers Community just go for it!

2. More Sad News: The Brotherhood lost another kuvasz lover and K-is-for-Kuvasz-Daddy. One of my brudders and littermates lost his human dad very suddenly last week and I am sending lots of good vibes, tail wags and cuddles to my brudder. It's ok to be sad and to cry when you lose one of your humans, but remember you need to take care of your momma and love her lots and lots cuz we think her heart is breaking right now. snuffles and sniffles.

The Royal Kuvasz

From the Westminster Kennel Club Kuvasz page:

The present day Kuvasz developed in Hungary where the breed served as a guard to royalty in the 1400s, prior to becoming popular as a livestock guardian [and highly skilled food beggar, drooling over tiny morsels of bread]...

...Today's AKC breed standard describes the characteristics required of a dog whose function is to protect its flock and drive off predators: large, moderately boned, sturdily built, well muscled, not bulky or lethargic...

Biggie and his cousin Huck

I'm back here in Virginia with my extended family. Last time I was here I met my cousin Huck for the first time. Huck's parents, Tyler and Emily, were the very first people in my new family to pick me up from my breeder, Mama Clare.

Unfortunately last time I was here, we were all in Virginia for a Very Sad Occasion and I had to have a bath and be around to cheer everyone up. I was very confused because everyone was there except Josh, and I LOVE Josh. I kept looking for him everywhere but I couldn't find him. But Huck and I did our best to help our people feel better. We made this video in remembrance of Josh and added some of Josh's favorite music.

Raw Diet: MEAT! MEAT! MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT!!!!!!!

FINALLY! AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON ... because I was getting bored bored bored. Momma has been away from home way too much because she's been working on some big case where someone Made Off with lots of money that wasn't his. Momma told me how much it was, but once I get above the amount of money it costs to keep me in beef bones for the rest of my life, I don't really pay attention. All I know is, that's a lot of beef!

Also, since my BirdDay is coming up TOMORROW, Momma is gonna let me talk about the meat!

Here you see one of the most beautiful pictures in the world: a FULL freezer. In the drawer, you can see a bag of frozen green beans, for use in case of emergency (ho hum, vegetables were SO last month!), and a container of some kind of meatables for me. And a chicken pot pie in the box, but Momma says that's for the humans.

In the lower compartment, the two left sections of the freezer are full of FORTY POUNDS of chicken leg quarters, skinned and put into freezer bags. On the right hand side are Chinese food containers full of whitefish bones and pork bones - probably about 5-10 pounds worth. Buried underneath there are some year-old tater tots and Chinese dumplings and a few containers of veggie mix for me, but you can see that the most important MEAT for Biggies is on top.

All this meat lasts me about 3 weeks. Momma gets the chicken and fish from FreshDirect, a service that lazy New Yorkers use to get their foodables brought right into their apartment!

Momma also goes to our neighborhood butcher for other meats - chicken backs, pork and beef necks, beef shins, and turkey necks. Momma has to skin the chicken backs herself, but Robert and Hector use their big saw to cut the turkey necks into 1/2 pound segments (perfect for snacks at day care), and the pork and beef necks and shins get cut into 1-lb pieces.

When my Grandmomma came to stay to help Momma after her 2nd splurgery last year, she took all my meat and made it into yummy dinners for the humans! Without asking me!

I get about a pound of meat per meal, just perfect for teeny poops while keeping me lean and fit. If I'm eating something that has more meat and less bone (like the chicken leg quarters), Momma will drop a calcium tab in with my food.

Sometimes Momma adds delectable special things like liver or lamb, but they are pretty rich and are useful only in small amounts for extra yumminess. Also the pork you need to freeze for 3 weeks to kill any nasty critters that might be living in it.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Here you see my humans' assembly line process for packing my lunches for camp. But it also gives you a good idea of what goes into my meals. This is a Thursday-Monday weekend of food.

Meat here is chicken leg quarter or chicken back (1 in each container), plus yogurt/veg/fish oil mixture. The white dots you see are my cosequin-DS chewables for happy hips. Yummers.

Oh, and that picture in the background with the lemon slices is the humans' dinner (1 whole chicken cut up), marinating. I don't like lemons.

Happy Eating!

Raw Diet: The Processing of the Vegetables

Aha, NOW we're getting somewhere. It's not quite meat, but at least it's edible. We had a few episodes of Real Life intervene here, so check here for Momma's "Why Feed Raw" and "Raw Diet Essential Equipment" posts.

Not every raw-fed dog gets fruits and vegetables; some feed meat only. If you're going to feed vegetables and fruit, though, it needs to be processed since dogs a) like humans, also lack the ability to break down cellulose, the stuff that cell walls are made of, and b) dogs don't really chew that thoroughly. So giving your dog a carrot to munch on is a nice treat, but don't expect it to have too much caloric or nutritional value - just look at the sizes of the carrot pieces that come out the other end...

So, the vegetables must be Processed. And by that, we mean, "ground up in the food processor into teeny little bits." Since The Processing of the Vegetables is usually a time-intensive task and involves use of heavy machinery, we tend to do it in bulk every few weeks and freeze the results in the plastic take-out containers until we're ready to use them.

We get a weekly organic fruit and vegetable delivery (they send us a box of whatever is fresh that week) and whatever we don't eat in the first few days gets saved for our Canine Composter. Here is this week's list, for example:

• TOMATOES
• ARTICHOKES
• GREEN BEANS
• GREEN LEAF LETTUCE
• CARROTS
• COLLARDS
• RUSSET POTATOES
• KALE
• LEMONS
• BARTLETT PEARS
• VALENCIA ORANGES
• BANANAS
• RUBY RED GRAPEFRUIT
• RED DELICIOUS APPLES
• KIWI

Of this list, biggie will probably get the carrots, collards and lettuce, and maybe also the kale and some kiwi. We have also saved some broccoli trimmings from tonight's dinner, and some overripe apples, pears and kiwis from prior weeks. It all gets moderately washed, cut into processor-sized pieces, and all churned up. It is pretty amazing how good the veggies and fruits smell when they've been all ground up.

It's pretty hard to mess up the veggie mix, but it is important to know which fruits and vegetables are toxic to dogs. There are plenty of lists on the internet, and they all say NO grapes, raisins, onions, scallions, garlic, avocados. We also cut out any apple or pear seeds as they contain small amounts of cyanide. Finally, corn seems to upset some dogs' stomachs, so we stay away from that too.

TIME SAVING TIPS

It's also helpful to remember that you don't have to wash the stuff TOO thoroughly. When we first started doing the raw diet, I spent so much time washing the leafy greens, until P-Daddy reminded me one day, "He eats dirt." In short, the stuff doesn't have to be triple-washed; a decent rinse will do. Also, you don't have to peel most of the stuff you put in the processor.

I have in the past cheated by throwing thawed frozen vegetables into the processor (peas, carrots, butternut squash, broccoli), or even being REALLY lazy and putting the thawed vegetables directly in the bowl when we've run out of veggie mix. Biggie's survived, so we've gotten more comfortable over time with improvising if we run out of mix (or the last pack is still frozen).

Biggie gets about 1/4 - 1/2 cup of veggie mix (more if you're using cut up vegetables since the mix is pretty dense) per meal, twice a day, mixed about 1:1 with yogurt and/or canned pumpkin and some fish oil. He loves it.

Here's a picture of TPotV: in the background are the bits of vegetable cut up and ready for the processor; in the front is a few weeks' worth of veggie mix.

For the curious, here's a list of all the fruits and vegetables Biggie has ever had in his mix - all raw unless otherwise noted:

lettuce

kale

collards

chard

broccoli

carrots

peas

butternut squash (peeled, lightly cooked and cooled)

yams/sweet potatoes (lightly cooked, unpeeled)

apples

pears

bananas

beet greens

beet trimmings and peels

cauliflower

green beans

spinach

kiwi

celery

zucchini

yellow squash

Biggie's first video, taken by Josh

We got these pictures from Josh's sister, Gillian (aka "Biggie's First Mommy") just a couple of weeks ago. They are from the weekend we got Biggie. As you can see, he is already mugging for the camera.

... and took to tormenting Buddy and Benji from Day 1.



... and learned quickly to be rebuffed by them.



When we got Biggie in July 2007, the entire Anderson family bonded with Biggie before we even met him. Josh's brother and sisters formed a relay to pick him up in TN from our breeder, and then they drove him up to Northern VA, where Biggie hung out for the day while we drove down from NYC to get him.

Here is Biggie's first video, taken by Josh. We like to watch it with the sound turned up.

March 18, 2009

Something really tragic happened today and my humans can't stop leaking from their eyes. Momma and P-Daddy are ok but not really ok, because they are very very sad. Momma gave me a bath tonight so I can give hugs to all my extended human family. So we'll be gone for a bit and we'll be back later to talk about the raw diet and stuff when we're not so upset. We'll be reading your bloggies to try to cheer up but probably not commenting much.

Joshie, we miss you tons. Peace be with you.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG ...

... for LOTS of NEWS!!

You know it takes a lot to stop me talking about my food. Momma's been flying all over the place and she doesn't even know what time or day it is anymore and she had to post this. This is worth it!

FIRST OF ALL: My dog mom and my pop BOTH passed their Therapy Dog International tests with flying colors!!! On the first try!!! Without doing a class or ANYTHING. Way to go, Mama Snow and Yani-Pop (above), but also, way to put the pressure on! Yikes! Mama Clare said that they both did great on their tests except when Yani-Pop had to walk by a big mirror. Apparently he couldn't pass it without stopping to admire himself. BOL!

NEXT - and JUST AS EXCITING, My Big Brudder SARGE has started a blog! More Kuvasz in da house!

And while we're on the subject of KUVASZ... if you can't get enough of us gorgeous dogs (I am my father's son, after all), check out this video of the lovely Delilah, Chance's love interest in Homeward Bound II. A shout out to my brother TEX for sending this to me. Tex, She is WAY cuter than your big stuffed polar bear and I may have to fight you for her unless we can work out some sharing arrangement.

Raw Diet Essential Equipment

Ho hum, another boring post about all the boring un-eatable stuff about feeding raw. Momma is so meta. Sorry for being so delayed, I was partying after my Special Judge's Award at Mango Minster. (thanks, Bolo!) Then Momma was saying something about business and work and all that. Excuses, excuses. But here's Momma's list of all the stuff you should have on hand to make a raw diet (especially one for a Biggie like me) easier and cleaner.

Momma, I'll tell you easy. Just give me the whole chicken or a whole salmon and I'll just eat it. I don't need a bowl; I'll just take it to the flokati, ok?

1. A CRATE

Again, crates are really important to keep the dinner from running away. They don't do much for keeping the dinner in the bowl, however:

A crate with a plastic or metal floor helps contain the mess. Biggie has his own pace of eating - sometimes he eats his salad around his meat, but other times he pulls the pieces of meat out of the bowl, drops them on the floor, eats the veggies and yogurt out of his bowl, and then eats the meat. Usually after that he licks the floor clean. Still, cleanup is a LOT easier if you have a surface in a contained area that can just be wiped down with antibacterial wipes.

An added benefit: teaches pups to like their crates, making crate or kennel training infinitely easier.

2. A FOOD PROCESSOR

To make the veggie mix. Like humans, dogs can't break down the cellulose in plant cell walls, and thus can't get the benefit of all the good vitamins and nutrients unless those cells are broken open. Humans do it by chewing with our molars.* Dogs don't have flat-surfaced molars like we do, so even though they do chew vegetables somewhat, it really helps to grind the vegetables for them.

*And even humans, with our omnivores' teeth, don't always do a great job breaking down vegetables. Just think about how we eat corn and what comes out the other end...

3. KITCHEN SHEARS AND A DECENT KNIFE

Unless your dog is 200lbs or more and you're feeding him whole chickens, or you have a butcher who will custom-cut your order, you will need good strong kitchen shears or a boning knife to break the meat into meal-sized pieces. While your butcher will have to cut the beef and the lamb for you, poultry and fish can be done at home - some small dogs may only eat a chicken neck or half a wing in one meal.

3. PLASTIC FOOD STORAGE CONTAINERS

These are good for storing my veggie mix and smaller sized meat, like my fish pieces or my liver. You could spend money on nice Rubbermaid or Tupperware containers that you can stack in your freezer. Or you could do like my Momma does and order cheap Chinese food delivery EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and save those plastic containers to store the veggie mix. Hey, at least it's recycling.

4. FREEZER BAGS

Momma likes to use, reuse, reuse and reuse those Ziploc-style freezer bags. When they are new she packs my meat in them. Usually 4-5 chicken leg quarters (about 4 pounds) will fit in a gallon bag, and the bags are pretty stackable in the freezer. Once a freezer bag is used for my food, it is only ever re-used for my food. A quick rinse with some soapy water (zip it closed and shake the bag) is all it takes for the next batch of meat. When they bags are near the end of their useful life, they finish their lives as storage bags for my meals when I go to camp. Momma packs one meal per bag and puts them in the freezer and the Nice Camp Lady gives them to me (thawed out, of course). Once my bags go to camp, they don't come back.

5. PLASTIC OR STYROFOAM BUCKET OR BIN

This is just useful for storing all the foodables in the fridge. Especially if the freezer bags are getting somewhat old and leaky. Then you don't have meat juices leaking in the fridge. It's also easy to put all the dinner ingredients in the bin so when it's time for dinner, voila! pull out the container and all the ingredients are right there. Sort of like how on those cooking shows everything is all out and ready for the chef.

6. DISINFECTANT/ANTIBACTERIAL WIPES

Momma uses these to wipe down the counter, my crate and any other surfaces that might contact the Salmon Ella. Actually Momma doesn't wipe down my crate as often as she used to, because I lick my crate very thoroughly after I lick my bowl clean. So far, so good, it's been 18 months and I haven't seen Salmon Ella AT ALL.

7. A BIG FREEZER

Well, duh.

Why go raw? Pros and cons of switching to a raw diet for your dog

Biggie's disclaimer: Warning!! BORING times ahead. Instead of feeding me yummy raw meat, Momma has decided she's going to talk about it instead. Bla, bla, bla. And not even talking about THE MEAT; instead she's just talking about WHY she does it. I'll tell you why: BECAUSE IT IS DELICIOUS and MOMMA IS ONE CRAZY DOG LADY. That's why.





...








Thanks, Biggie for that lovely introduction. Biggie's parents are raw-fed, his mom was raw fed while she was pregnant and nursing, and Biggie's been raw fed since he was 3 months old. In short, he's probably been eating kibble only about 7 weeks in his entire life.

WHY GO RAW?

There are a lot of sites that talk endlessly about the raw or "BARF" (Bones And Raw Food) diet but in this and the next few raw diet posts, I'll be talking mainly about what I do and how I feel about it.

1. You know what your dog's eating.
Given all the dog food recalls and scares of the past couple of years, it is pretty reassuring to see what goes into your dog's belly. It's all human grade and higher quality than any "meat byproduct" or corn or soy derivatives that end up in dog food.

2. It's healthier: weight control issues
A well-balanced, low-carb, low-fat diet does wonders. Jack, one of Biggie's terrier-mix friends, lost 5 pounds. It's also easy to manage your dog's caloric intake without making him feel STARVING by just changing the veggies-to-meat ratio. It's basically like increasing the size of the "salad" course so your dog doesn't miss the meat quite so much. It's also good for putting weight on: just add a little bit of richer meat, like liver or ground beef or lamb.


Finally, for a large/giant sized pup, raw is ideal for growing them slow. Large and giant breed pups can suffer from panosteitis and run a risk of joint problems later in life if they grow too fast. Too many people want to make their dogs gigantic, too quickly, and kibble contributes to that. When we went to Korea for a lengthy trip last year, we switched Biggie to kibble for a couple of weeks at the kennel, and he came back looking a little chubby. Switching him back to raw slimmed him down right away.

3. It's healthier: food allergies
Corn and soy and grains can wreak havoc with a dog's digestive system. If you have a dog with food allergies, feeding them raw is a quick way to pinpoint exactly what bothers their tummies, rather than playing a guessing game with the 20+ ingredients in kibble.

4. It's healthier: teeth
Chewing all those bones keeps teeth strong, healthy and CLEAN. It saves brushing time and keeps those pearly whites pearly and white. And when Biggie was a puppy and losing his baby teeth, all that raw diet helped him with his teething and helped the baby teeth fall out faster.


Oh yeah, and "dog breath" isn't an insult any more. No need for greenies, flossies, mint biscuits, or any other myriad products designed to get rid of dog halitosis because really, there isn't any.

5. It's healthier: temperament and behavior

Dogs need to learn how to chew. And dogs on raw who chew their food eat a little more slowly. If you have a dog who inhales his food (and chokes or gets gas or stomach upset from eating too quickly), a raw diet with bones helps slow the process down. Some believe this reduces the chances of bloat as well.

Also, dogs that learn to chew on bones and food have less tendency to chew on inappropriate objects. I can't say that Biggie never chewed on anything inappropriate (one leg of our wooden 4-poster bed has some deep teeth marks in it), but the only chewing casualties in a year and a half have been one bed leg, a lightly nibbled sneaker, and one rubber flip flop. And the last 2 were done more for attention and tearing something up than a real chewing need. Considering that Biggie spends most work days in our bedroom with a few toys and his crate, and a wooden bed and a wooden dresser and no one to tell him no when he starts chewing, he could have done a lot worse.

Finally, all that chewing on good bones tires a puppy out, making him calmer. Maybe that doesn't matter so much with an adult dog, but for a teething pup it was a godsend.

6. It's healthier: poop

When you walk a 110-lb dog around NYC and have to pick up poop, this factor quickly rises to #1. Dogs process raw food more efficiently and there are no fillers or artificial flavorings like kibble, so as a result the poops are pretty darned amazing. Biggie's poop on raw happens less often, in less volume, and is FAR less stinky. Some people go so far as saying it doesn't stink at all; I think the veggies make it smell a little but it's not nearly as bad as kibble poo. Also, they are really easy to pick up - as an added benefit, they're solid enough to express the anal glands, so you don't need a human to do this. Solid enough that if you ran out of bags and had to, say, use a stick to roll the poop into the sewer or under a bush, the poop stays intact and rolls nicely and doesn't leave a mark on the sidewalk or the stick, and you are not about to faint from the stink. I'm just sayin'.

How small is small? Biggie's poops are about the size of our old dog Boo's. Boo was a 25-lb American Eskimo. Also - because raw food doesn't have anything artificial in it, it biodegrades VERY quickly. If the dog is eating food with a lot of bone in it, the poop will be almost white and crumble to dust within 24 hours. Generally within 24-36 hours the poop will be ... disappeared.

7. It's better for the environment.

Since the food has no additives, preservatives or chemicals, Biggie's pee and poop are less harmful to the environment. His pee doesn't kill the grass like kibble pee does, and as I said before, his poop disintegrates pretty quickly as well. Basically, you have a walking compost pile if you have a dog on a raw diet. There are many things a dog on raw should not eat, but there are also a lot of byproducts from cooking (e.g. meat and vegetable trimmings) that don't have to spend years in a plastic bag in a landfill before returning to the land.

8. Good food is always available.

You're only a supermarket run away from good food for your pup, and you don't need to worry about finding the right brand of food if you happen to run out. And, if you cook at all, chances are you have enough food in your fridge to tide you over for a meal or two. We realized this on a drive home form Vermont in a blizzard last winter. A 4-hour trip ended up taking close to 10 hours, and when we stopped for food we found a supermarket in town where we got a snack for the puppy as well. Sure, we could have gotten some dog biscuits, but instead we bought a pack of baby carrots and a pack of raw chicken wings. No bowl necessary - Biggie just chowed down in the parking lot and snacked on carrots on the long drive home.

(A side benefit is that having all that meat and vegetables in the house also means that I'm more likely to use some of it to cook dinner rather than calling for delivery - so this "pro" goes for the people in the house as well.)

9. Dogs love it.

Mealtime is one of the happiest times in our house. Not so when Biggie was on kibble, but we have one attentive dog when there's raw meat around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, but why NOT raw? Here's a number of common reasons why people are afraid to try a raw diet:

1. It's expensive

A pre-made, mail order raw diet is expensive, I agree. It can cost upward of $5 a pound. Considering that for raw food, an adult dog should eat about 1.5%-2% of his body weight, it would cost $10+ a day to feed Biggie. Which is why I make it at home. We're lucky to have a great butcher on our corner, so a variety of meat and bones cut and trimmed to order is readily available. While we will splurge on beef liver or lamb on occasion, we usually look for bulk deals and sale items. Even in NYC, we can feed Biggie on organic vegetables and chicken and turkey and fish scraps for about $1 a pound. While this is still more expensive per meal compared to kibble (raw food is heavier due to the water content), it's not necessarily cost-prohibitive. And if you find a good bulk meat supplier or can go to Costco, it can be cheaper than high quality kibble.

2. It's a lot of work.

Well... yes and no. There is definitely more prep work involved than opening a bag of kibble and scooping it into a bowl. There is the repackaging of bulk meat into manageable portions that can be taken out and defrosted when necessary (that's what I'm doing in the picture above), and there is also the Processing of the Vegetables, each of which can be a daunting task when you're first starting out, but once you get into a routine, each of these only needs to be done once every 3-4 weeks. Then, when you're feeding, it takes maybe 20 seconds more to put together a raw meal - a scoop of vegetables plus whatever supplemental stuff gets mixed in, and then plop the meat in the bowl and you're ready to go. It does take more time to feed your dog raw, but you will save time in fewer trips to the vet and less frequent teeth brushing.

3. I'm worried about salmonella.

If you dress like this, you should be ok:

But seriously, the dangers of salmonella are more of a concern to the humans in the household than the dog. It is important when handling raw meat to make sure you don't cross-contaminate utensils and food prep surfaces. But if you are cooking for humans you already know to do that, and it's really no different when prepping the dog's human-grade food.

4. It seems too complicated; I'm worried I'll mess it up.

This was a worry for us when we started, too. Luckily there are many good resources on the web (Stan and Big Pupi's blog has many links; I'll put some up too), and I had two kuvasz breeders I could email with questions. It seemed like every day I had another question, but there is a pretty supportive community out there and it's easy to do some web research and figure out the answer.

I also learned to relax over time. If each meal isn't perfectly balanced, it's not the end of the world, so long as over time the dog's getting what he needs. Sometimes Biggie got too much meat (one time I did my math wrong and he ended up eating a whole chicken over the course of a day), other times he might miss a meal or only get vegetables or only get meat because I ran out of something and was too tired lazy to get the other. But Biggie continued to grow and thrive, so it seems to be working just fine even if each meal isn't always the perfectly balanced, perfectly portioned Ideal Raw Meal it is meant to be.

5. I'm worried that if my dog eats all that raw meat, he'll develop a blood lust.

Hm. Well, you got me there. Biggie obviously has the blood lust, as you can see by his latest (unsuspecting) dinner:

Question: If you feed raw, what is the biggest benefit you get out of it? And if you don't, what is the biggest deterrent?

TOTAL NON-SEQUITUR: I'm participating in Mango-minster this week too. Stop by Mango's bloggie to see some recent pictures of me in all my raw-fed glory! I hear that SOMEDOGS (Madison, I'm talking to you!) are getting all professionally groomed and such for Mango-minster, but I had to make do with a lame-o shower with P-Daddy because my humans are too cheap to shell out $150++ for a pro grooming. So I expect there will be some serious competition there.

Would I lie to you?

My buddies Stanislaw and Big Pupi, fellow raw meat eaters, gave this Honest Weblog award.

The rules:"When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to said person so everyone knows he or she is real.

Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have 7 friends. Show the 7 random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Weblog.” Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten honest things about yourself. Then, pass it on! "

Stan and Big Pupi are quite honest about their peeble and pooble adventures, and their frank openness - let's face it, they let it ALL hang out - has made it oh so much easier for me to go on my rants. Stan and Big Pupi didn't include an icon in their post, which maybe makes this the cheapest award ever - no prize, not even an icon! So I'll just make one up of my own:

oh never mind. Momma is too lazy to figure something out. This honesty thing sure is fun!

Since I was about to embark on a series of posts about my raw diet (and this is especially cool since Stan and Big Pupi were the ones who gave me this invisible "award"), I figured I'd tell you 10 honest-to-goodness-whole-truth-and-nothing-but-the-truth facts about my diet and my eating habits:

1. When I am hungry I go sit in my crate and wait for food to appear. (I always get fed in my crate.)

2. I'm almost ALWAYS hungry.

3. When my 2nd human gets home from work, I'll look at them and then go sit in my crate and wait for dinner, even though 1st human already fed me. This trick has never worked before, but it *might* work the next time I try it!

4. I'm slightly finicky about my fruit, but give me any lightly cooked orange vegetable (pumpkin, yams, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes) and I will gobble it up.

5. I LOVE carbs. Anything starchy is my favorite.

6. I like to eat snow though I don't care about ice cubes.

7. I once caught a live duck but Momma made me let it go.

8. ditto, but a NYC street pigeon.

9. ditto, but a mouse.

10. I was on a leash when I did #8 and #9. heh.

Now, to pass it on to 7 friends:

Madison - She's a big girl who is learning to be a great Ft. Lauderdale ambassador and healing her family's broken hearts

George - Because he is so open about how much love he has to give (basically, it's endless)

Amber-Mae - She let "anonymous" have it! You tell 'em!

Wally - for all his Barking for Barack, he's definitely keepin' it real.

Misty the Alpha Poodle - for reminding me about the Idiotarod.

Peanut and Flash - for their uncontained and open joy at Dad's homecoming. (He's a veterinanarian)

Dannan - for his indomitable spirit.

Now off to more posts about RAW FOOD!

Career counseling for the working pup

I love to work. Because I am a kuvasz, a Working Dog. But I was thinking the other day that this security and protection gig might not last forever in this recession, so I should probably have a backup job just in case. 

I found this free online quiz that tests your personality and suggests some other career choices that might fit with your personality. Even though it only had Yes or No for answers, I found it much harder than my Puppy Aptitude Test. 

Some of the questions were easy, like "You are usually the first to react to a sudden event, e.g. telephone ringing" (duh!) or "It is in your nature to assume responsibility" (who else is gonna watch those kids?) or "You prefer to act immediately rather than speculate about various options" (if I hesitate in my protection duties, someone might hurt my people!). 

But some were sort of hard.  Like, "You get bored if you have to read theoretical books." How do I answer that if I don't know how to read? How do I know if I would be bored or not?? 

Anyway, the test said that I am an ESFJ. This is not really a surprise. I'm an Extrovert since I love to visit my people and my dogs. This past weekend we had some friends over to Brrr Mont and I showed them around and we played and they petted me and we all had a great time. I am also Sensing and Feeling, rather than iNtuitive or Thinking. Again, not a surprise. I have to go on what my eyes and nose and ears tell me might be a threat, and I sometimes have to act quickly, without a chance to overthink the situation, because that split second of hesitation is when someone might hurt my Momma or jump out of a dark corner and threaten my people. Finally, I guess it goes without saying that I am a Judger not a Perceiver. I decide - and not anyone else - whether a situation warrants action. And if you are "in" in my book, you are in forever.

MLK and Eleanor Roosevelt were ESFJs, so I'm in good company I suppose. 

And if I ever decide to get out of the security and protection field, these are my possible other fields: 

• Management (I like to be in charge)
  
• Public Administration (I do love paper)
  
• Nursing (I did take good care of Momma after her splurgeries...)
  
• Social Work (maybe I should go for that therapy dog certificate after all) 
  
• Hotel & Restaurant Management (somedog has to make sure that the beds are soft and the food is good)
  
• Sales & Marketing (I am very good at selling the Raw Diet and also grooming tools)
  
• Fashion Merchandising (Just look at my fur!)
  
• Education (ditto that therapy dog stuff)

I don't know, dogs. I guess I'm still young enough for a career change if I have to. What about you? 

Some quick news

First of all, congratulations to T-Bone and his family! He has a new little brother to take care of in addition to his 2 cats, his girl and his human parents. What a pack! Let's all send happy HARROOOOOOs his way.


Now, some not so great news: After a few days of glorious meat, I am back with the diaries again. This time I couldn't hold it til we were outside because Momma has been doing this working thing again, and so I made it on the new flokati rug so it would be easier for them to remove it. Momma thinks this is because I am sneaking little bits of bad snow on my walkies and the dog run. So she has decided to punish me by instituting the Meat Embargo again. Humans are so dumb, if they would feed me more than I wouldn't have to eat bad snow. As a result, I am restarting OPERATION MEAT AIRLIFT. Again, if any of you can SEND ME SOME MEAT I would much appreciate it. If you disguise it in a Tiffany box it is more likely to escape Momma's meat detection sensors.


Also, to give you an idea of just how dirty NYC snow is... Here is a "before" picture...





And this is AFTER a walk on what seemed like pretty clean city sidewalks. Somedog needs mudflaps!


Pay no mind to the unfortunately located stain near by butt. That was made by Momma when she overwatered a plant that used to sit on a table there. Unlike most of the other stains in the apartment, that one was NOT made by me.

News from Dan the Man and Sister Spirit

Momma is such a drama queen. She has been hogging the computer and leaking from her eyes about all sorts of things in the last two weeks like she had to go to a service for someone who D-I-E-D and then she had to do some other sad things for "work" and then she has been traveling (so I went to camp AGAIN! ok that part wasn't so bad) and then there was that thing about the plane landing in the river near my dog run. Oh yeah and lately there has been that issue with my diaries which Momma thinks came from me licking some dirty snow in the dog run that day it was below zero. And now she has been keeping me on STARVATION rations. NO MEAT! I am starving. I walk into the kitchen and touch the refrigerator with my nose, then I touch the counter where she makes my dinner, then I walk into my crate and sit, and then I flip my food dish, take it out of the crate and push it around the room like a giant hockey puck, and STILL she doesn't get the hint! Sheesh. Anyway, so she APOLOGIZES for not being around more because of all that. I still think she is being a drama queen but if you get a moment CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME MEAT?!?!?!?

My big brother Dani (aka Dan the Man) and sister Spirit and I chatted a while back, sorry it's taken so long to get it up: 

BiggieZ: hey

DanTheMan: yo

Spirit: hey biggie whats up

BiggieZ: not much im starving. whats new w u?

DanTheMan: we went to a show last weekend

BiggieZ: ??

DanTheMan: and i got my cgc 

BiggieZ: wtg but whats a show

Spirit: You know, a SHOW like with dogs and stuff

BiggieZ: ?? you mean like the dog run?

DanTheMan: no like you go in a ring with fence things and you do stuff

BiggieZ: you mean like camp?

Spirit: no theres other dogs there and you run around and stuff

BiggieZ: is there wrestling

DanTheMan: no 

BiggieZ: bitey face?

Spirit: no

BiggieZ: how bout playing in the snow

Spirit: whats snow

BiggieZ: nevermind

do u get butt scratches at the show

DanTheMan: no you go around in the ring and you run with a person and people pet you and you get stacked and stuff

u have to put ur feet in just the right place and let people pet you and look at ur teefies

BiggieZ: sounds like fun

not

Spirit: its fun u get lots of treats and stuff when you run and you get lots of baths and grooming to look real pretty

BiggieZ: can u run up to ppl and stick ur nose in their butt

DanTheMan: no

Spirit: tell bigz what is really cool

DanTheMan: im getting 2 it

anywy this 1 had lots of kuvasz there and so its a MAJOR

BiggieZ: k

Spirit: and so we got to beat lots of other dogz and we both won some stuff i got winners bitch

BiggieZ: somedog call u a bitch?? where r they i beat them up 4 u

Spirit: no no not like that its a good thing and dani got winners dog

BiggieZ: cool

DanTheMan: yeah and then i beat spirit to get best of winners BOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I ROOL!!!!!!

Spirit: no you DROOL stupid

BiggieZ: so u r both winners cool

DanTheMan: see the pic below im in the middle standing nicely like a g'boy unlike other girlz i know

Spirit: I was looking for treats!

DanTheMan: well that is why I, your big brudder, WON BOW WOW WOW!!

Spirit: yah whatever I have more points than u anyway

BiggieZ: speaking of treats u got any meat 4 me im really hungry

DanTheMan: ill look brb

BiggieZ: so that is pretty cool and u mean u didnt get to play bitey face with anyone??

Spirit: no and since it was raining we couldnt go outside and mess up our hair

BiggieZ: thats not so good

Spirit: but it was a MAJOR and so now all I need one more major and then ill be finished

BiggieZ: finished with what?

Spirit: i dunno just finished with stuff, u know like being a champeen

BiggieZ: oh 

my P-Daddy is a major maybe he could help u finish

Spirit: hm maybe when is he coming

BiggieZ: u can only borrow him you cant have him

Spirit: i think i hafta have him to finish r u sure you cant give him to me

BiggieZ: no u cant have him i only said borrow

Spirit: meh

BiggieZ: meh

DanTheMan: im back mama said we cant send u any meat cuz its too smelly we can only send u oranges and grapefrut

BiggieZ: bummer im really hungry

Spirit: hey thanks for the chicken toy i really liked it but then i did something naughty and then mama took it away and said i hafta share

DanTheMan: yeah little brudder dude tx 4 the chicken toy

heres another pic of me being very light on my feet despite my massiveness.

BiggieZ: I dont think ive ever been that white

or fluffy

Spirit: You could be if ur Momma washed and brushed u like our mama does

BiggieZ: maybe but i think im curlier than dani every time momma brushes me i get staticks and then as soon as i wrestle i get all curly again

BiggieZ: Dani u look really huge there how much do u weigh? I have no idea how much i weigh but its over 100 something and momma measured me and said im 30 inches tall now

Spirit: just like u boyz all u can talk about is size

look at me below im striking a pose

DanTheMan: heh and youll make lightning devil eyes at everyone

Spirit: yeah well i still got way more points than u nyah nyah nyah and ur older

DanTheMan: u r such a brat i have to sit on you now

Spirit: ow get off me dfjksnj u r a fat

ass fgkg tyiodv df hfdk;lk

DanTheMan: and when we went to the shows i got to do a lot of pee mailing and we went in the Magic Box where the doors slid back and forth

BiggieZ: u mean like a store or a apartment building?

DanTheMan: no it was like a little box

BiggieZ: oh u mean a Ella Baiter

DanTheMan: whos ella is she in heat BOW WOW WOW 

BiggieZ: nevermind yah we have one in our building its pretty fun

if u sit u get treats

and sometimes its really squishy and full of people

if ur really lucky u might see another dog who lives there its really fun

especially if u start wrassling in there when u r on the leash

DanTheMan: i didnt do any wrassling i get enough at home

this time it was nice to have a vacation just with mama even if i had to share her with that little brat kid sister 

Spirit: mmmbtthh!! mmmmrrgggrrr!! get OFF lardo

BiggieZ: im gonna go bang my dish and see if momma feeds me im really hungry 

laterz

DanTheMan: l8r

Spirit: nbk dfh dfrtm bbrrrgh!!

Happy New Year everyone!

Ok, so Momma is not so good at this whole Blogger layout thingy, but I think my new header picture gives a more artistic view of my New Year wishes.  This is what the full picture looks like: 

We just got back from Brrr Mont and Auntie Lauren (of the Puppy Transport Team) had spent New Year's at our apartment with some friends of hers and she left Momma some toys. Momma is so dumb she thought I was supposed to wear them, and this led to a full-on photo shoot. 

But as you can see, this pink hat is TOO SMALL. (Plus it's PINK and has a TIARA on it...need I say more??) Then again they say Lassie was played by a boy, so I guess I'm ok with that. (harrumph)

 
It was sort of hard to keep the Happy New Year crown on, too. Every time I lowered my head it flipped down onto my face and I would sit there because Momma told me to STAY and so I would STAY even though I don't think this is how it's supposed to STAY:
That's more like it!

Finally, I let Momma know how I felt about this whole photo shoot business. It's tough being so beautiful. (And you can REALLY see how this hat is way too small for me.)


Momma and I also talked about 3 New Year's Resolutions for each of us.

MOMMA'S RESOLUTIONS

1. Take care of my health. 

(That's right, Momma, you should eat more natural foods like my raw diet and get plenty of sleep and exercise. At least I get her out on a 2-mile walk and dog run trip most mornings, but she is always staying up way too late even though I keep trying to get her to go to bed.)

2. Let the little things go.

(Momma and I both need to work on this a little. We are just a little intense sometimes...)

3. Live a more economical, simplified life.

(Really, this is one where I think we dogs have it figured out. We don't need much to be happy - just the company of the ones we love, a warm safe place to sleep, and food.)

BIGGIE'S RESOLUTIONS

1. Let the little things go.

(But I like to guard!!!)

2. More frequent trips to Orvis and Brrr Mont.

(Momma, I sure hope you are paying attention because I need your help with this one.)

3. Less sock/hat/panty raiding. 

(If Momma helped me with Resolution #2 then Resolution #3 would take care of itself, duh!)

Finally, I leave you with a short video of me enjoying one of my pawesome Christmas pressies, and big giant dog bed from Orvis (see Resolution #2). It's big enough for Momma to cuddle on it with me. 

2008 Year in Review

(Sorry, I am a little LATE with this post because SOME PEOPLE ABANDONED me and then were busy doing things like going skiing and entertaining friends and celebrating New Year's and recovering from New Year's and... more skiing and...)

2008 has been a great year. We had a rough beginning, but it's finished up pretty well. 

I tried being a service dog when Momma had a splurgery and I had to take care of her.

I learned how to guard, making me very popular with the neighbors.

Then I fired my dog walker and had to get tutored.

Then I made myself doggona-non-grata at my first doggie day care.

I turned 1 only a day after Momma had her second splurgery. Everything is always about her, she had to go steal all my birdday thunder. But I did get some balloons out of it.

I helped Momma with her physical terrorpy.

I finally showed everyone I am perfectly capable of swimming long distances into deep water; I just choose not to. (Compare my water polo skills as a 12-week baby, here.)

I continued my rise to the top at doggie day care.

I won 3 medals in the 2008 Pawlimpics: 2 golds in Track
and Bitey Face and a bronze in (snow)Ball!

Don't worry about that Bitey Face picture. This is what Zola is usually doing to me: 

I found a new doggie day care and a great camp in the country.

I fooled everyone into thinking I am a Canine Good Citizen.

We opened a new dog run in Brrr Mont.

I became a calendar model, debuting as Mr. January AND Mr. December in my first outing to benefit Kuvasz Rescue. Sorry, the calendars sold out well before Christmas. 

I got more great Christmas pressies and a delayed Christmas surprise (after my humans came back from ABANDONING me) ... that I will tell you about soon!

Haikuvasz

Coming home from Camp
Lots of fun after all, but
I miss my Momma

Bah, HUMBUG!

So.
A few days ago Momma and P-Daddy were doing all this packing and usually when they do all that packing it means we are going to Brr Mont. And then they put my seat belt on and we got in the car and it was very exciting because it turns out we were not going to Brr Mont but instead we went to CAMP! And so I thought this was the best Christmas present in the world because much as I love going to camp, camp would be a million, zillion, gazillion, BAJILLION times better if we were all going to camp together! So for the last hour to camp I couldn't stop whimpering in excitement. We got out of the car and I was all, like, Momma, this is where we'll sleep!! and this is the dog run where we'll play!! and look at all my friends I can't wait for you to meet them!! and this is where I slept last time!!! And Momma and P-Daddy walked around in the big dog run and Momma even came in my little private run with me when I showed her how you can get there from inside and outside AND THEN THEY LEFT ME THERE.

I was ABANDONED.

And while there were having picnics on the beach in Male a Boo and getting dive bombed by seagulls...



...I was sitting in the snow freezing my butt off. Momma, if you'd taken me with you I would have protected you from the dive bombers.


But NO, they had to go hang out with Auntie Pita and Santa Claus' sister Monica instead. Look how much fun they are having:



And reminder, here I am. Remember ME, Momma?


So Merry Christmas to everyone else, but not to people who ABANDON their pups at very important times like Christmas! I don't care if that airline crate that is a little too small for me and won't even fit in your wagon. Humans are supposed to be really good at problem solving, I'm sure they could solve THIS problem if they really cared.

Bah, humbug!

Biggie's Unsolicited Advice: Peeing and Pupparazzi

Well, there were so many issues embedded in the last few comments that I thought I'd try my hand at unsolicited advice, since people are so good at giving it to me. But first, a haikuvasz:

Snow falling, lovely.

Romping in slush, so cooling.

Mud, hair, everywhere

(shakes curls)

Ok, where were we... oh yes, Victor and PeterPan and their marking and "space" issues:

Victor: Can you please explain to me why people freak out when I try to pee on their dogs while they are peeing? Don't they realize I'm just trying to mark the same spot? And why don't the little dogs move out of the way when they see me coming?

PeterPan: Honestly. This happened to me once and I had to teach him a major lesson. PLEASE talk some sense into him. And while you're at it, could you also explain why my people don't seem to like it when I lay on their faces? They start sputtering and choking and they completely ruin my comfortable position - is there something I'm missing here? Are people really that uncomfortable with lying in a big pack heap to keep warm?

Really, I think marking your family and friends is a wonderful gesture of love and possessiveness, especially during this holiday season. Why, just the other day I tried marking Cooper's dad when we were all walking together. And who needs indoor grass when there's a whole TREE inside to mark?

To the small dogs out there, just think of it as a light rain with scent. A spritzer of eau de toilet, if you will.

As for the lying on people, PP, that's just a sign of unhealthy possessiveness and trying to get just inappropriately close to your humans. You are a dog, not a person. Go eat some beans and sit on Victor's face instead.

I know we have encountered many of the same things. Just because they are big fluffy dogs, does not mean that you can run up to them and try to hug them. I have had people try to pat T-Bone through the car window, even with him growling at them. Some people are just not smart.

--T-Bone

...Mommy always like when people ask 1st but nowadays, she doesn't even bother asking. Anybody who wants to touch us, are free to do so. But what Mommy hates most is when people stare at us from the outside of our car & tapping on the windows & all. It's like they have no manners. I know we're the most gorgeous dogs in the whole wide world but I don't like people staring at us from outside our mobile. Eek!

--Amber-Mae and family

It amazes us how many people think they can just walk up to strange doggies and reach out with those hands and try to touch us. And the staring! Don't they know that is not only rude, but a threat?
--Dannan and the Girl

T-Bone, grasshoper. The problem is that you are not escalating enough. If they don't back away from the growling, then an all-out, full-Cujo assault is necessary. I'm talking full-on, throw your body at the window, snarling assault. That'll show 'em! (Extra points if you make the car rock back and forth, and the people jump away.)

If you can work up some good foaming at the mouth (Bitter Apple does wonders) and act a little rabid, that's good too. Just make sure to hide your rabies vaccination tags. 

Oh yeah, and if people come up to you on the street, the best defense is a good offense, I say. Lunge at them first, snapping and snarling. Extra points if you pull your person off their feet or dislocate their shoulder. 

Amber-Mae and Chloe, you girls need to be more fierce. You could try bleaching your fur and pretending to be a mean kuvasz. Or, make a game out of it. See how close you can bite the air next to their hands. 

...

...

...

What, Momma? No, I'm just answering some fan mail on the 'pooter...

...

...

Argh. Ok, Momma says those ideas aren't so good because they involve something like Liar Bill 'n Tea.  (Sounds like Momma's job.) We are supposed to try nonviolent means. So here's some more ideas you can try that don't involve biting:

Roll around in garbage or go chase a skunk. No one will want to pet you then. This is really good for clearing a WIDE path so you can walk unimpeded on a busy sidewalk. Problem is, your own humans won't want to cuddle with you much either, and it could lead to the dreaded B-A-T-H. 

Teach your humans to lie. Tell them to answer YES! when they ask if you bite, and NO! when they ask if you're friendly. And whatever you do, ABSOLUTELY NO snickering or smiling or sitting or looking pretty when they are having this conversation! Wear a Gentle Leader and pretend it's a muzzle. Try to act a little crazy, like make your eyes roll in different directions or pretend to chase an invisible bird. Pretend to be a combination of Lindsay on a Saturday night, Britney when she shaved her head, and Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch. Then people will feel really sorry for your humans.

Cultivate some really good SBDs or diaries. Eat really smelly stuff and save your gas (or runny poops) until right when someone wants to pet you. Then, let 'em rip! Nothing clears a room faster than a big stinky pile of poo or a Silent But Deadly dog fart. Major caution: This maneuver can only be done outdoors!! DO NOT DO THIS IN A MOVING VEHICLE IN THE WINTER.

Let me know if this advice was helpful!

**I'm FAMOUS! Well, almost famous...**

My little buddy Rowdy is the FAMOUS one. He eats better than I do because his dad does a whole lifestyle and wellness show and books that mainly focuses on gluten-free food and celiac disease for people. He makes it all look so delicious and he does talk about healthy eating for doggies too. So he might even talk about me and the Wonder Ingredient that I get in my food every day to keep me looking and feeling tip top. Can you guess what it is? You'll have to listen to Uncle Frank tomorrow to find out.

That's TOMORROW, FRIDAY DEC. 19 at 1:30 PM, LIVE on SIRIUS/XM RADIO!

Biggie's Etiquette Column, Issue 1

Dear Random People I Met on My Walk Home From Day Care Last Night:

Momma has been all over me about good manners when I am out greeting my public. Well, it's about time I set some ground rules about how my public meets me.

First of all, it's not polite to stare. I know, I am supremely fluffycurly and gorgeous and it's hard not to stare, but if you stare and I can't see your hands, or you're carrying something or running toward me, or all of the above, I am going to stand my ground and make YOU move.

Also Very Important: NO TOUCHING THE BIGGIE unless Momma says so! I know I am irresistible and at the perfect height for petting and everyone just wants to touch the fur, but it's not polite to touch without asking. Seriously, how would you like it if some random stranger grabbed YOUR butt on the subway? Will you be offended if I grab your butt back?

If you want to pet me, just ask Momma first. But don't startle her or jump out at her because then I will have to Lock and Load for Protection. Keep your hands where I can see 'em, especially if they have treats. Momma always has treats with her, so she will give you one to give me. And I'll even work for them. But not if you scare her.

(P.S. Shouting from across the street, "LOOK AT THAT POLAR BEAR!!!" and making barking and howling noises and then following us down the street, continuing to bark and howl, does not constitute proper "asking." You are ridiculous and drunk and I will not acknowledge your presence. Similarly, reaching out with your hand as you are running toward me and screeching in a high pitch, "OOOOO WOOK AT DA COOOOTIEE ADORABLE PUPPYDOG WOO WOO ARE SO KEY-OOOOOT!!!" is ridiculous. Only Momma talks to me like that and only when there is no one else around to hear.)

Corollary: If Momma says NO you cannot pet me, LISTEN TO HER! She knows best, and even if I'm giving you my dazzling kuvasz smile, I may be smiling because I'm thinking about how high I can make you jump if I snap at you.

And if you have a dog, WATCH 'em. Don't just stare at me. If your dog is giving off mean signals and they're running the entire length of their Flexi-lead, I might have to take matters into my own paws (and mouth) and remind 'em of their manners.

Thank you, and let me know if you have other etiquette issues you would like me to address.

Prom King Opens Manchester Dog Park, Part 2

Biggie's Momma here. We pretty much had a great time at the new run, which is about 4 times the size of Biggie's runs in the city. And with poop bag dispensers! And big wastebaskets! And soon benches and running water! And grass!

They even had a sweet ribbon cutting ceremony and a blessing (see above). It was supposed to be a solemn occasion, one for reflecting on dogs less fortunate than ours, etc., etc. Except - we had THIS going on in the background through the entire blessing:

And without Biggie to censor his pictures and edit the posts, I extracted a frame from the video that shows Biggie in a more goofy and less-regal light as he tries to get the dogs to play with him. Prom King, indeed - Court Jester is more like it. His body language is pretty easy to read. 

Prom King Opens Manchester Dog Park, Part I

Hi everyone. I hope you all had as good a weekend as I did, but I'm pretty sure you didn't. Cuz not everyone can be a Prom King like me. Yesterday I did a little jailbreak in Brrr Mont and went to visit my yellow lab girlfriend, Charlie, and her Boy. Then today, oh, the GLORY! First, it started snowing, and then I went to the Grand Opening of the Manchester Dog Park. It is actually big enough for me to get some real speed, and best of all, I found some new girlfriends. Here you see the 3 of us, Ella the Great Dane, and a Golden Girl whose name I forgot. As you can see, they can't get enough of me as I patrol the boundaries and tell everydog who's here. 


Ella is the first girl who is actually bigger than me; she weighs in around 125 pounds. And she's a few months older. So I had to get her interested and impressed by my stick dancing skillz:


Once I had her properly interested, she stayed close by my Prom King Handsomeness. Who wouldn't want to be right next to me anyway?


I was especially enamored of her one ear turned inside out from all our wrestling. As you can see, I like to keep her all to myself. She's mine!



Oh yeah, there were other dogs and people there too. Lots of big dogs, though none quite as big and majestic as Ella and me. A few Golden Girls, a whole lotta Labs and Lab mixes, and a few humans with treats were also there to pay tribute to me. Oh yeah, and pictures with Santa. If Momma can figure out how to get them she will post them some day. 

If you want more pictures of glorious ME, don't forget to get your 2009 Kuvasz Calendar. The money goes to kuvasz rescue which is a worthy cause.

PeePee Ess: Mango, maybe we could meet here and play when you go to camp next summer?!

Cyber Monday: Buy ME, Mr. January and Mr. December 2009!

Still stumped for a holiday present?

Here's a special gift idea for all my adoring fans - you know who you are - all you ladies, gents and dogs who love my roguish smile, my giant soft floofness, my gentleness with the wee ones and my ferocious guarding side....

It's the 2009 KUVASZ CALENDAR, benefiting kuvasz rescue through Kuvasz Fanciers of America. The link takes you to a preview of the calendar and a way to buy online. You can see all my amazing pictures, but of course, you need to buy the calendar in order to get me in all my full-size, hi-res glory!

It's my modeling debut AND Cyber Monday. What better time and way to spend lots of $$$$ online, save our economy, AND get a year's worth of kuvasz beefcake to ogle? (Ok, it's only 2 months' worth of Biggie, but the other pictures are pretty darn cute too.)

Thoughts on Barack Obama's Cabinet

I'm feeling very thankful today for all my friends! Happy belated Thanksgiving, y'alls!

With President-elect Obama making appointments to his Cabinet, I decided to put in my 2 cents about who should be in President-Elect Obama's crate, I mean, Cabinet. I know some of these positions are probably already filled, but I thought maybe if there were any undecideds or if they needed some backup appointees, he'd have some waiting in the paws: 

State - George - He lives in the UK, has an Italian girlfriend, is multilingual (sort of), who else is more qualified? And check out his Kiss Kiss video. 

Treasury - Wimsey, especially his November 14 post.

Defense/Homeland Security - ME, Biggie-Z the Kuvasz (who else? I can handle both Cabinet posts at the same time)

Attorney General - Amber because she is probably the best behaved of all of us since she actually listens to the RoolZ

Interior - Ace, for all the natural interior territory he covers in all his runs

Agriculture - Mango, Dexter and Hector Wheelie

Commerce - Stan and Big Pupi

Labor - Lora (honorary dog, for all the WORK she puts into all her dogs)

Health and Human (and Dog) Services - 4Bs and Chloe (just look at the last month's posts!!)

Housing and Urban Development - Petey, because he is a city dog if every there was one. 

Transportation - Ruby (duh, of course!) 

Energy - Pacco (she has enough to solve the energy crisis without having to drill in Alaska)

Education - Nanook - for all his work at the library teaching kids to read and for being such a big brudder to Pooka

Veterans Affairs - Peanut and Flash - so they can make sure their dad is always taken care of

and even though this is not technically a Cabinet-Crate appointment, I think Wally should be Barker of the (Dog)House, since he has been Barking for Barack all this time. 

Have a great Thanksgiving weekend, everyone.

STOP STEALING MY CONTENT!

NEWS FLASH: I just found out that a facebook page for a breeder that is selling kuvasz puppies in another country took - as in STOLE - puppy pictures of Biggie that were posted on this blog. (I am not linking to it for obvious reasons.)

Apparently the Spanish text under BIGGIE'S PICTURES says something along the lines of "Me and my brothers are for sale, $700."

Biggie is not for sale. None of Biggie's brothers is for sale. This breeder is in no way associated with me or with Biggie's breeder or any of the kuvasz breeders or owners I know.

Hey, breeder from South America: I've reported you to facebook for copyright violations because yes, you have violated US copyright laws by pulling hi-res pictures of Biggie from this blog and reposting them as your own on facebook. I've been to your website and thankfully you don't have any pictures of Biggie on your kennel/breeder website. But you have hundreds of pictures of kuvasz that seem to be bred from your kennel on that site. Wouldn't it have been easier and MORE HONEST (not to mention legal) to post pictures of your own dogs on your facebook page instead of pulling pictures of puppy Biggie?

I suppose we should be flattered that Biggie is so much cuter than any of the puppies actually bred from this kennel. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? I had been working on a post about finding a good breeder and telling the difference between good breeders and unscrupulous ones, and I guess I can now add another characteristic to the "unscrupulous breeder" column: STOLEN WEB CONTENT.

I have from time to time gotten emails and comments from people who want to re-post pictures from this blog onto their blogs or for other not-for-profit uses. I have always said yes in the past, and I'm generally inclined to say yes because I think this is a terrific dog breed and they deserve more visibility. But people, y'all need to ASK first.

Though if you want to use any of these pictures for any for-profit use, let me save you some time and effort: the answer is NO.

UPDATE: Facebook removed the page. Thanks, facebook!

Dog Park RoolZ and RegoolashunZ

While I am at camp, I thought I would have Momma do a post about polite rules for the dog park because my BrrMont dog park may be opening up soon (!!!!) and because she and some of her friends (both real life and dogblog) have had some interesting WTF incidents lately.

Meanwhile I will work on some more haikuvasz as I contemplate the great outdoors here at camp.

------------------------------------------------------------

The basic rules at any public NYC dog park: 

• Dogs may not be left unattended.
• The dog run is NOT a playground. Children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult and should be closely supervised.
• Entry and use of the dog run is at your own risk.
• Skateboards, bicycles, scooters and strollers must be left outside the dog run.
• Clean up after your dog. Animal waste must be promptly removed and properly disposed of.
• Dogs must be licensed and have all shots and tags.
• Not Permitted
  --Spike or Pinch Collars
  --Aggressive Dogs
  --Female dogs in heat
  --Food and glass bottles
  

The private runs in the city - where you pay an annual fee and provide proof of vaccinations and a dog license in exchange for a key to the run - are usually a little cleaner and well-maintained. The one we use, for example, has a little rain shelter, some tables, chairs and benches, more trees, and two hoses). They can sometimes be a little more restrictive, too - again, requiring proof of license and shots, though the public runs sometimes get spot-checked by NYC Parks people. 

But in both private and public runs, there are strange, STRANGE dog owners and dysfunctional, poorly socialized dogs. WTFs abound. Here are some additional unspoken rules/thoughts we wish people would keep in mind at the dog run: 

Monitor your dog's activity.

If you're reading the paper or talking on the phone, chances are you won't see your dog going poop (or eating poop, or stepping in poop) off on the other side of the run. You also won't see if your dog's being aggressive to another dog, jumping on people or getting pushed around by another dog. Rough play can quickly cross the line to aggression, and being a strong leader for your dog means being able to intervene immediately whether your dog is the victim or the aggressor. Also, if you have a dog who tends to run into people, you owe to the other dog owners to at least give a holler if your dog is careening into them from behind. No one likes being knocked over by a dog. 

Learn to read dog body language

Dogs have a huge range of vocal and non-vocal communication. I studied animal behavior in graduate school, so I love watching dogs at play and trying to figure out what they're saying to each other - but you don't need an advanced degree to follow basic dog body language. Before an incident the dogs are usually exchanging a series of escalating signals, and a lot of incidents could be avoided if the humans had noticed these signals earlier. Tail Talk is a great book that shows you what to look for in clear pictures of puppies and adults of many breeds. 

Socialize your dog / Let your dog socialize

If your dog has issues around people or other dogs, you might want to work up to the dog run slowly rather than dragging a fearful dog in. Walk him around the outside and let him see the dogs playing, and let him sniff a little first, if your dog is not comfortable going into the run. Or start by going when the run only has 1 or 2 other friendly dogs in it. By the same token, DON'T keep your dog leashed in the run (unless he's on a time out) and DON'T carry your dog in the run. Many dogs are more fearful when they're on a leash. If you carry a dog in over other dogs' heads, some of them perceive that as a dominant gesture, and they will jump up on you and the dog. 

Another pet peeve of mine is when dog owners come in and sit on a bench and make their dogs sit next to them or on their laps and don't let them play. Again, this seems to happen a lot with the little dogs, and it teaches little dogs to be afraid of bigger dogs. Let your dog meet, greet, sniff and play with dogs of all sizes - big dogs will learn to be careful where they put their paws, and little ones will learn how to play. Confident little pups know just how to let everyone know they're there!

Size isn't everything

See above - it drives me nuts when I come into the run and some wee dog owners pick up their little purse pooches and huffily walk out of the run. They never even give Biggie a chance to show how gentle he is with little dogs! Sometimes age and energy level are a better guide to how your dogs will get along, and sometimes some dogs just hit it off while others don't. And even so, sometimes some dogs will not get along the first time they meet, and then fall in love the second or third time. You can't always force it, and you can't always generalize by breed (unless your dog had a really bad experience with a particular breed the first time she met them). 

Dogs are not people

Repeat after me: Dogs are not people! They WILL smell each other's butts. And poop. And pee. They WILL hump each other. Not all humping is sexual or dominant, sometimes it's playing. Talking to your dog in a reproachful tone of voice or telling them they are supposed to "share" won't get you anywhere. Most of the time the dogs work out their issues on their own, sometimes after some snarling and posturing, but other times they don't. You can't force your dog to play nice with another dog she hates, though you sometimes can manage behavior so they can peacefully coexist in the run. We've even worked out a detente with R-----, the intact yellow lab. Biggie doesn't really like intact males, and had gone after R----- twice (no injuries, though some flying fur and loud crying by R-----), but once it became clear that R----- was not going to challenge Biggie for status,* everything worked out magically: thye sniff each other cordially and then play with their friends. They won't play with each other (yet), but they're comfortable enough to play while the other one is in the run. You can't impose your view of the dog hierarchy on the dogs themselves - and a dominant dog is not a bully (though there were times with R----- that I was embarrassed with Biggie) - usually once they work out who fits where, everybody is happier. More problems tend to happen when you have 2 or more dogs that think they are alpha. 

Sometimes dogs do things to each other that humans find appalling, like licking each other in unmentionable places. Try not to project a human sensibility onto it. If they're getting along and there's no health or safety risk, let them do what dogs do. Biggie got his head peed on when he was a puppy and following another male just a little too close. He's also come home with giant pawprints on his head from playing really rough. And Lexi, his boxer girlfriend, humps him ALL the time. She's the only one who gets away with it. And this, with his girlfriend Zola - if they were kids I'd have told him he was being too rough on her, but she didn't seem to mind at all (note that she's stepping on his foot, so it's not clear who's got the upper paw here):

*R-----'s mom dropped some treats on the ground by accident. R----- was about to go for them but Biggie just walked in, sniffed, and ate them all while R----- just stood there. That was actually the turning point. If R-----'s mom had been like "Those are R-----'s treats!" and picked them up and given them to R-----, it would have been a bad scene. But in this instance letting the dogs be dogs meant letting the dominant dog do what dominant dogs do.

Canine Tolerable Citizen (oh, the things we put up with!)

Lindsay over at ThatMutt.com has a great post asking, What do you tolerate from your dog?

Rather than hijack the comments to Lindsay's post, I decided to hijack Biggie's blog instead, because he does not have opposable thumbs and is napping now. Biggie's tolerable behavior illustrates the kuvasz temperament beautifully:

1. GUARDING

Like every other kuvasz I have ever heard of, Biggie's mission in life is to guard. When we go to the dog run, he is always aware of everything on the other side of the fence. Anyone who comes too close must be watched, assessed, and, if deemed a threat, challenged and chased away by charging at the fence with ferocious barking. For the most part, the people he deems threatening are understandable: WTFs, big loud men, fast-moving (and loud) bikes, scooters or rollerbladers. At best, we manage the behavior by trying to teach him that most of the people who walk up to the fence are friendly, and he is slowly getting it; if I walk up and talk to the person, he will stand and watch but won't bark. And sometimes he is so busy playing that he will break just to look and decide to go back to playing. But even while he is playing, he has half an eye on the fence.

One point here is that a "protective" dog doesn't necessarily mean a dominant or aggressive dog. Dog owners who know him call him a "mush," a "flirt" and a "softie" and are always amazed at how gentle he is with other dogs, letting the younger and smaller ones climb all over him. I have never seen him hump another dog, yet others hump him all the time when they're playing, and when he's had enough he simply walks them off, no snapping or snarling. He will roll another dog if he thinks it's necesary, but he has an amazingly high tolerance level, and has only done it two or three times in his 18-month life.

The other morning our neighbor's Boston terrier mix came into the run and immediately started barking and snarling and nipping at Biggie's neck aggressively. Biggie just stood there and looked at him sideways before deciding he'd had enough and walked to the dog run gate and waited there to leave. At that point he was a little droopy, like, "Who brought this little bully in here to spoil my fun?" Biggie could have done a lot, but he chose not to. The neighbor's dog was definitely (fear) aggressive but not dominant, while Biggie was neither aggressive nor dominant. 

2. PREY DRIVE

One of the few things Biggie gets really excited about is chasing small living things, like mice and birds. Sometimes when the weather is crisp and windy, he will chase leaves and pieces of paper blowing around. It must be the irregular and unpredictable motion, because if you throw a ball, Biggie may chase it up to 2 times. On the other hand, Biggie has chased and caught a duck, a mouse, and a pigeon; the duck he chased and caught at 6 months, and the latter 2 he caught recently while on leash, and all 3 times I've been screaming at him to cut it out. Fortunately he didn't kill any of the animals he caught; he knows bite control and just likes to chase and catch them, and eventually lets them go after enough yelling. 

Which brings me to another issue dear to my heart: Dog owners need to teach their dogs some self-control. The guarding instinct and the prey drive are VERY strong in the kuvasz, but that doesn't mean these behaviors can't be tempered. Teaching your dog self-control is like teaching children the difference between "inside" and "outside" voices; your dog can still be a dog, he just doesn't need to attack the food delivery guy or chase every single pigeon he sees. 

3. SOCK (and other clothes) STEALING

Ok, this one has been going on for a while. Luckily he doesn't tear them up, but Biggie will raid the clean and dirty laundry piles and select socks or bras to snuggle with and mouth when I'm not home. When he was younger he used to do it to get us to chase him; now it's just a sad gauge of how crazy my workload can get, because once I'm home he doesn't do it at all. It's just so sad to come home and see the big goofball, happy to see me, with a pair of slobbery socks by his side, that I just don't have the heart to try to train this out of him. 

4. PAWING AT STUFF (not people, thank goodness)

This would be a lot cuter if Biggie were a 10 -lb dog, and it sure is better than incessant barking. Biggie only barks when guarding, and the rest of the time he's the strong but silent type. If he's thirsty, he'll just sit in front of his water bowl, shooting us doleful looks. If he's hungry, he wanders into the kitchen and wanders out, looking at us meaningfully, then back into the kitchen and back out.  But sometimes if we're not catching his looks, he uses his big bear paws - to paw at his tip-proof water dish, his empty food bowl, but most often at a door that he wants opened. When he paws at a door, he sounds like a horse pawing at his stall. It's not the claws - our doors are amazingly unmarked - but the sheer weight of his paws that make it so loud. 

5. Peeing in the house when his flock leaves unexpectedly

This dog has the biggest bladder I've ever seen. He can hold it for 12+ hours without an accident, so long as he is being left alone on a schedule he is comfortable with. On the weekends, if we go out, it's usually not on a regular schedule, and chances are just better than 50-50 that he won't make a little anxiety pee near the door. He doesn't cry, he doesn't get destructive, sometimes he just makes a little dribble. 

6. Laziness

This is just a function of the kuvasz independence and stubbornness. Unless properly motivated, The Big One just moves at his own speed. He'll come when you call him, but only when he's good and ready. And even then, he'll just walk. At 18 months, he does like to play, but if you leave him alone he will find a spot (usually between you and the door) to contentedly be a blob. Unless he's guarding, of course.  There is no laziness in the guarding. 

Pros and Cons of Having an Intelligent Dog

(Dumb Biggie because he let us throw snow all over his head? Or Smart Biggie because he taught us the "Bury Me in Snow" game?)

This sounds like the title to a dumb post. After all, who wouldn't want to have a smart dog, right? But intelligence is different from obedience, trainability, and energy level, and a smart dog isn't necessarily an easy dog.

People who don't know Biggie or the kuvasz breed sometimes think that he is "dumb" because he's not particularly obedient, he does everything at his own slow pace, and he is basically silent unless he's guarding. The rest of the time, he moves slowly, doesn't always make direct eye contact, and definitely doesn't have the perky, "ohboyOHBOYwhatarewegonnadoNEXT?!?!?" look that border collies seem to have perfected. Since he's not totally focused on people, preferring to keep tabs on them without looking like he is, they underestimate him and forget he's around until he Anal Torpedoes them with a sly grin on his face.

PRO: Biggie knows lots of tricks and commands and picks them up within a few tries...
CON: ...but he only does them when he feels like it, and would much rather learn new tricks than practice his old ones.

PRO: Makes up his own new games and teaches people how to play them just by using body language...
CON: ...Not all humans want to play Anal Torpedo, Hide-and-Seek, Indoor Football, or Bobbing For Rocks. And sometimes even I don't understand the games he wants to play (What game involves a rope bone, puppy bed, towel, and metal food dish at the same time?)

PRO: An intelligent dog is a great problem solver.
CON: An intelligent dog is a great problem solver: will find ways through or around every obstacle if properly motivated, including unlatching doors, training and manipulating humans, and knowing just how far to take the naughtiness.

PRO: Is a great communicator.
CON: Can be demanding. (Luckily Biggie doesn't do this, but some smart dogs with a high energy level will find ways to communicate their desire to eat, drink, go out, and play whenever they want, which is not always when YOU want. If you have a vocal dog, he will quickly figure out that barking leads to attention.)

More CONS: 

CON: An intelligent dog is harder to forgive, because he *knows* he's being naughty, and chooses to do it anyway.

CON: Difficult to dupe. (Our old dog, Boo, was not so good at coming when called, but we could always dupe him by jingling our keys and asking, "Want to go in the car?" Not so some other dogs we know.)

CON: Can be stubborn, because they know how far they can take it, and because they can't be duped. If you have a dog with an independent temperament, this will be a challenge because they won't do stuff just to make you happy; you have to show them it's in their best interest to comply. And even then sometimes they act like they aren't really being obedient - like Biggie executing the "down" command during his Canine Good Citizen test.

CON: May start to train his humans. 

The upshot? You have to be smarter than your dog, and aware all the time of what the dog is learning from you. And since dogs aren't people, you can't reason with them, bargain for good behavior, or explain why they should really listen to you. Given how many WTFs out there own dogs, maybe it's a blessing that there are obedient and dopey ones out there.

(Update: As I post this I see Biggie trotting off in the shadows holding something in his mouth. Why do I just KNOW this is not an "approved item"?)

WTF: The Prequel

Taking a cue from the 4B's, I'm putting some happy pictures while I tell you about some really stupid and annoying people Momma and I met last night at the dog run. You can see what this dog run looks like here. As you can see, my posse of big dogs can get pretty physical when we play. These are the rules that are also posted at the dog run: 

Rules & Regulations:

• Dogs may not be left unattended.
  
• The dog run is NOT a playground. Children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult and should be closely supervised.
  
• Entry and use of the dog run is at your own risk.
  
• Skateboards, bicycles, scooters and strollers must be left outside the dog run.
  
• Clean up after your dog. Animal waste must be promptly removed and properly disposed of.
  
• Dogs must be licensed and have all shots and tags.
  

Should be pretty clear, right? Well... I was playing guarding the people in the dog run and the other dog, a young, little black lab. Since it was quiet and there wasn't much going on, Momma was on the phone, and the little black lab's dad was on his phone too. Suddenly, a kid on a SCOOTER came zipping down the boardwalk along the fence, so I told Momma he was there and I barked and barked and ran along the fence with him. He looked like he was 6 or 7. Then, he started coming IN the first gate to the run, on his scooter. Momma grabbed my collar and got off the phone, pronto.

Momma started asking questions right away: 

Momma: Where are your parents? Do you have a dog? Don't bring your scooter in here.

Li'l WTF: I want to come play with the dogs!!!!

Momma: Where's your dog? Do you have a grownup with you? DO NOT bring your scooter in here! 

Li'l WTF: Why not?

Momma: Did you just hear my dog barking at you? He does NOT like scooters.

Big WTF (outside the dog run): I'm his dad. He wants to come in and play with the dogs. 

(Li'l WTF starts opening the 2nd gate, but has thankfully left his scooter in the vestibule.)

Momma: This is a DOG RUN, not a playground. You can't just send your little kid in here to play with the dogs.

Big WTF: But he loves dogs, and he can't have one at home because his mom's allergic.

Momma: Do you see the rules posted on the door? They're there for a reason. These dogs aren't here for your kid to play with. People are not supposed to come in here without a dog, and kids are NOT allowed in here alone.

Big WTF: Oh, I'm watching him. 

(During this time, Li'l WTF has been "playing", by which I mean taunting, the little black lab, whose dad is still on his phone. The little black lab is maybe 40-50 lbs, and starts jumping on Li'l WTF out of excitement. At this point, Li'l WTF starts screaming and runs to Momma and grabs her leg, and finally little black lab's dad comes over and pulls his dog off Li'l WTF who is still screaming and hanging onto Momma's leg while I am standing on the other side of her leg while she holds my collar. These people are WEIRD and very, very stupid.)

Momma: Oh you are? How are you "watching" him now?

Other Dog Dad ("introducing" his dog to Li'l WTF): She's very friendly, there's nothing to worry about. Look, she's very nice. 

Momma: The dog run is for DOGS. It's not safe for small children.  Take your kid to a playground!

Momma was so exasperated she put me on the leash and walked me out and around the park for a bit. Then she saw the Li'l WTF leave, so we started going back to the run, when who do we run into AGAIN but Li'l WTF on his scooter coming straight for us! Big WTF was nowhere in sight. Li'l WTF was hollering and making an awful racket on his scooter, and I could feel Momma's angry feeling rising again. She put her hand up like the stay command and she started yelling at him and she was all like, WHAT did I just tell you and YOU LEAVE US ALONE and I TOLD you not to bother us and you are going to get attacked by a dog someday if you keep it up and GO AWAY NOW!

And then she started walking away and he still tried to follow us on the scooter and Momma turned and yelled STOP FOLLOWING US and LEAVE US ALONE and then Big WTF saw us and he finally started calling his pipsqueak kid and left us alone. And the we went back to the dog run and played. The End.

Momma's note: Biggie was actually angelic through the whole episode even though I was secretly hoping that he would go cujo on the kid just to put the fear in him. But through it all he never growled, pulled or even twitched. This dumbass kid was so little he was pretty much eye-to-eye with Biggie.  (dragging soapbox again) Biggie probably would have been fine and gentle with the kid but I just didn't want to reward Li'l WTF for his complete stupidity. What kid runs into a dog run to "play" with a dog that moments before was barking furiously at him on the other side of a fence? And what dumbass oblivious parent lets his kid do this, thinking that sitting on the other side of two latched gates is somehow "watching" his child? I don't know which pisses me off more. I had visions of this kid growing up to be the type who taunts a dog who is tied up or on the other side of the fence and then is outraged when the dog gets aggressive in response. WTFs start early.

(Little black lab's dad doesn't score any points with me either. He didn't notice when the kid came into the run (at first I thought it was his kid), then didn't come over to supervise his dog playing with Li'l WTF. Then, when Li'l WTF is running away from his dog, he's slow to get to the dog and THEN, despite the words I am having with Big WTF, does not question why the kid is in the run alone and does not teach the kid how to approach a dog. Although, granted, that's not really his job; it's the job of the WTF on the other side of the fence.)

Parents: whether you have a dog or not, make sure your child knows a) good manners upon approaching any dog, and b) that NO means NO. Provoking, taunting, teasing, poking, hitting, and grabbing are NEVER allowed. Every dog, no matter how friendly and calm, no matter how big or small, can be pushed beyond its limits. EVERY dog-child interaction must be closely supervised. A dog bite can happen in an instant, and it is not always the dog's fault.