Friday, June 27, 2008

WTF? (updated)

Since Biggie got...  well, BIG, random people don't usually talk to us while we're walking. This evening, however, we saw a domicile-challenged -- or at least controlled-substances-addicted man -- sitting next to the butcher's garbage bin on our sidewalk. I was not wearing my typical WimseyWear(tm) (or is that "Biggie Chic"?) which usually deters any odd comments since I look a little domicile-challenged myself. Instead, I still had work clothes on. 

The conversation, as I walked past, not breaking stride, Biggie in a perfect heel next to me:

Odd Man: You still look gorgeous!

Me: ...Thanks. (Am I really at that age where the only compliments I'm going to get on my appearance are from crazy dudes? Really?? Because that sort of sucks.)

OM: And I still want that dog!

Me: heh... (You would not know how to handle a kuvasz)

OM: Or even half that dog!

(???)

OM: How 'bout just the tail? That's good eatin'!

WTF????


UPDATE: On the late night walk, Biggie and P-Daddy run into a guy who looks like he's a resident at one of the neighborhood halfway houses. He calls out, "Hey Biggie!" (yes, Biggie has a fan club of people we don't even know). Biggie starts growling, P-Daddy reins him in. Halfway House Guy says, "He must not recognize me because I just got a haircut." HHG pulls off his hat, revealing a pretty average-looking (i.e. not short) 'fro. And no, Biggie did not suddenly go up to him going, "Of course! It's YOU!" He just stood there at attention, though he did stop growling. 

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Kuvasz in da house!

Welcome to new kuvasz blogger, Harley-D!

Iz you and T-Bone are related? And note the odd similariez in our names:

Biggie-Z
Harley-D
T-Bone

We should make a rool that if you want to have a real homiez kuvasz name you hafta have a capital letter and a hyphen. Now let's see some more pictures.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I coulda been a contender, Part 2

T-Bone that other blogging kuvasz is showing me up. He's already catchign prey and he's just a baby! My mom is not paying enough attention to me, she is always like all "Biggie you be quiet" and "relax" when I try to guard her in the apartment, and she spends all this time at the computer looking at pictures of T-Bone and complaining about how my fur isn't as soft anymore and I shed too much and stuff.

So this morning I decided to one-up T-Bone. First of all, I showed my mom that I can walk through a cloud of pigeons and not chase them. She didn't even have to say "leave it" because I just left them. It was sort of fun to watch them fly away when I walked up. But I dind't want my mom to think I'm just slow or anything (Ok, fine, so I'm a little slow at catching my Fluffy Man. Half the time it just bounces off my face. But that's cuz I meant to do that. Really.) Anyway, so we were coming home from my morming walk and in the hallway of MY floor I saw something move.

Mind you I had just walked 2 miles round trip AND wrestled and played in the dog run, but this was ... A LITTLE MOUSE! IN MY HALLWAY!

So my mom starts screaming (yes, she has a Ph.D. in biology, but she was screaming.* She can handle any kind of bug or spider but she can't do mice or rats, go figure. If there was a chair she would have jumped on it,) while holding my leash and so clearly if my mom is screaming I need to do soemthing about it so I decided to show her that I can POUNCE and catch stuff just as well as T-Bone. So I pounced on the mouse and then let it go and pounced on it and let it go and then I jumped on it again and it kept running to get away, so I chased it down and tasted it a little but it was all squirmy so I let it go and that is when it scrabbled under the door and INTO MY APARTMENT. FINALLY my mom stopped screaming.

(Epilogue: We went in the apartment and the dumb mouse was still running around and I got my leash off and chased it and it ran behind the radiator or something. But I'll be ready next time my mom starts screaming "hantavirus" and "humane Biggie-proof traps")

*Ed. note: At least 51% of the screaming was, "Biggie, NOOOOOO!"

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I coulda been a contender!


My humans took me to Washington DC last weekend and left me in a hotel room by myself a lot. This was my first time in a hotel and I got lots of comments and lots of attention. When I was out of the room and on parade, that is. I really think I could have done this dog show thing that my mom and pop and sister and brothers do, and that my buddy Wimsey (the Relentlessly Relentless) does. Too bad they took my gajingles. As far as I can tell, it seems to involve standing around looking pretty and being admired by lots of people (and I haven't been bathed or brushed in a month, Mommy lost my rake). I have no idea what my humans mean when they they were all "too much work, bla bla bla" and "no time, bla bla" and "you must be crazy, bla bla bla bla." I have plenty of time on my paws, and I like to work (especially guarding stuff, that is SO much fun!). And isn't it a shame, because Mommy runs so well with no training at all, she doesn't even need the cavalettis


video

Mango, you still have your gajingles. Doesn't this look like fun?


My beautiful Pop has been to Westminster. Isn't he handsome?


Friday, June 13, 2008

Where's my Daddy? (Happy Farter's Day)

I miss my P-Daddy.  He is somewhere on a Glacier doing his business. I just hope he brought enough bags to pick up 5 days' worth of business before it freezes. Even though Mommy is paying attention to me, it is not as much fun. And here is the evidence: 

Daddy likes to be silly and he takes the car to some really fun places, with me in it. 


He climbs great big snow mountains with me.

He does splurgery on my giant Orvis chicken before playing Biggie Rodeo. Mommy, on the other hand, just has the splurgery all the time and then I have to take care of her and let her win at tug because she is such a weakling. It's not much of a workout for me.

More evidence that Mommy is NO FUN: 

She sits on me. (She thinks Biggie Rodeo means she gets to ride me. She weighs A LOT LOT LOT more than my Orvis chicken!)


She is always making me do undignified things, like give her kisses.


And that's not even counting all the times she smooshes me when I am just lying there minding my own business! (Can you see a theme here? Mommy is a dom top in the worst way.)


She even makes other dogs submit to her will. All for a few crumbs of dog biscuit. I am so embarrassed I got caught with these other two shameless treat beggars.


When she heard the phrase "use the carrot and the stick," she took it literally... 


She beat my little butt into submission before it became a big butt. I had the last laugh, though. I ate those sneakers last month. heh. 
So it's not much of a surprise that I'd rather be getting CRRRRRAAAZEEEEE with Daddy!

Daddy, please come home soon. Mommy has no tolerance for any of my naughtiness, and she won't wrassle with me or let me jump. And Althea threw away my last birdday balloon! THE INJUSTICE!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My Momma Eats Dog Food!

That's not an insult, really. 

My raw diet is all human grade and so my people won't starve because they can always eat my food. Funny, they stock the freezer full of my food and their refrigerator has 3 kinds of barbecue sauce, 6 kinds of mustard, 2 jars of capers, and lots of other condoms, but no real food! My staples are chicken leg quarters in 10-lb. bulk packs and fish bones for stock and soup. Both are $0.99/lb. which is my parents say is pretty darn good for New Dork City prices. My Momma says this is going to keep her cooking at home more and ordering in less since I eat healthier than she does and she could, theoretically, in a pinch, "whip something up" with my chicken. (And she has done that exactly once since I started my raw diet a year ago.) My fish bones are usually just that - whitefish carcasses after they've taken the fillets off - pieces of big crunchy bone with some whitefish flesh on it. Even so, I lurrrve it.

But today's grocery delivery from Fresh Direct really takes the dog biscuit!!  Tonight, my fish packages were all sopping and leaky and squishy. And Momma opened them and this is what she saw:

The Fish Fairy decided to send me sushi-grade tuna, salmon and white fish! It was firm and fresh and sweet-smelling and was just beautiful. The tuna usually sells for almost $20 a pound but because they seem to be trimmed ends of filets they sent them to me for $0.99 a pound instead. And no weight in bones - it was all these jewel-like nuggets of meat, each one the size of a baby's fist. My Momma started babbling about grilled fish kebabs and she would hardly let me snack on any of the fish as she was putting it away. Now she is asking her cooking friends for ideas for cooking this fish. 

Momma: I have A GREAT IDEA: How about an all-you-can-eat sushi bar for Biggie? Hunh? The recipe is real simple: 

Ingredients:
fish
1 Biggie

Place 1-2 pounds of fish in large metal bowl. Add 1 Biggie. 

Easy, right?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

New Friend: Peter the Pez Dispenser

I went to the dog run the other day and Daisy brought along a new friend!

This puppy seemed a little shy and quiet (and small!) so I let him have some space. 


Though my curiosity got the better of me and decided to sneak up on this strange puppy. His name is Peter. 

TURNS OUT HE'S NOT A PUPPY AT ALL!

He seemed nice enough even though he didn't really play with me. He did let me come up to sniff him. He didn't seem to mind, and he even let me stick my big nose right into his fur. 

A little poke here, a little poke there, he would occasionally move around as he munched on leaves, and leave little treats each time I poked him a little.

Voila! My own Pez dispenser!

I sure hope Peter comes to the dog run again soon. 

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Lifeguard Training

So last weekend we tried a different dog run because my parents were trying to find a place for me to cool off in the city. I would much rather play at the Stratton snow-making pond, but this is pretty good. Mommy used to be a lifeguard and so she showed me the basics, like making sure the water is the right temperature and the pool is ready for everyone to play in.  I watched very carefully. 


See that little brown dog? She had a big crush on me. The black dog is a boy who couldn't decide if he wanted to play with his ball or with me. But that is usually what happens with lifeguards at the pool. It's really hard being popular.  




As part of my lifeguarding duties, I had to test the water quality.



HEY!! WHO PEED IN THE POOL??



Pee or not, the water was nice and cool. 


When I finally got out of the pool, my fans had to jump all over me.



video
This pool was a little hard to swim in, but it still cooled me off pretty well. 

Coming soon (when P-Daddy lets me have the pictures): Peter the Pez Dispenser...