Monday, January 19, 2009

News from Dan the Man and Sister Spirit

Momma is such a drama queen. She has been hogging the computer and leaking from her eyes about all sorts of things in the last two weeks like she had to go to a service for someone who D-I-E-D and then she had to do some other sad things for "work" and then she has been traveling (so I went to camp AGAIN! ok that part wasn't so bad) and then there was that thing about the plane landing in the river near my dog run. Oh yeah and lately there has been that issue with my diaries which Momma thinks came from me licking some dirty snow in the dog run that day it was below zero. And now she has been keeping me on STARVATION rations. NO MEAT! I am starving. I walk into the kitchen and touch the refrigerator with my nose, then I touch the counter where she makes my dinner, then I walk into my crate and sit, and then I flip my food dish, take it out of the crate and push it around the room like a giant hockey puck, and STILL she doesn't get the hint! Sheesh. Anyway, so she APOLOGIZES for not being around more because of all that. I still think she is being a drama queen but if you get a moment CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME MEAT?!?!?!?

My big brother Dani (aka Dan the Man) and sister Spirit and I chatted a while back, sorry it's taken so long to get it up: 

BiggieZ: hey

DanTheMan: yo

Spirit: hey biggie whats up

BiggieZ: not much im starving. whats new w u?

DanTheMan: we went to a show last weekend

BiggieZ: ??

DanTheMan: and i got my cgc 

BiggieZ: wtg but whats a show

Spirit: You know, a SHOW like with dogs and stuff

BiggieZ: ?? you mean like the dog run?

DanTheMan: no like you go in a ring with fence things and you do stuff

BiggieZ: you mean like camp?

Spirit: no theres other dogs there and you run around and stuff

BiggieZ: is there wrestling

DanTheMan: no 

BiggieZ: bitey face?

Spirit: no

BiggieZ: how bout playing in the snow

Spirit: whats snow

BiggieZ: nevermind
do u get butt scratches at the show

DanTheMan: no you go around in the ring and you run with a person and people pet you and you get stacked and stuff
u have to put ur feet in just the right place and let people pet you and look at ur teefies

BiggieZ: sounds like fun

Spirit: its fun u get lots of treats and stuff when you run and you get lots of baths and grooming to look real pretty

BiggieZ: can u run up to ppl and stick ur nose in their butt

DanTheMan: no

Spirit: tell bigz what is really cool

DanTheMan: im getting 2 it
anywy this 1 had lots of kuvasz there and so its a MAJOR

BiggieZ: k

Spirit: and so we got to beat lots of other dogz and we both won some stuff i got winners bitch

BiggieZ: somedog call u a bitch?? where r they i beat them up 4 u

Spirit: no no not like that its a good thing and dani got winners dog

BiggieZ: cool

DanTheMan: yeah and then i beat spirit to get best of winners BOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I ROOL!!!!!!

Spirit: no you DROOL stupid

BiggieZ: so u r both winners cool

DanTheMan: see the pic below im in the middle standing nicely like a g'boy unlike other girlz i know

Spirit: I was looking for treats!

DanTheMan: well that is why I, your big brudder, WON BOW WOW WOW!!

Spirit: yah whatever I have more points than u anyway

BiggieZ: speaking of treats u got any meat 4 me im really hungry

DanTheMan: ill look brb

BiggieZ: so that is pretty cool and u mean u didnt get to play bitey face with anyone??

Spirit: no and since it was raining we couldnt go outside and mess up our hair

BiggieZ: thats not so good

Spirit: but it was a MAJOR and so now all I need one more major and then ill be finished

BiggieZ: finished with what?

Spirit: i dunno just finished with stuff, u know like being a champeen

BiggieZ: oh 
my P-Daddy is a major maybe he could help u finish

Spirit: hm maybe when is he coming

BiggieZ: u can only borrow him you cant have him

Spirit: i think i hafta have him to finish r u sure you cant give him to me

BiggieZ: no u cant have him i only said borrow

Spirit: meh

BiggieZ: meh

DanTheMan: im back mama said we cant send u any meat cuz its too smelly we can only send u oranges and grapefrut

BiggieZ: bummer im really hungry

Spirit: hey thanks for the chicken toy i really liked it but then i did something naughty and then mama took it away and said i hafta share

DanTheMan: yeah little brudder dude tx 4 the chicken toy
heres another pic of me being very light on my feet despite my massiveness.

BiggieZ: I dont think ive ever been that white
or fluffy

Spirit: You could be if ur Momma washed and brushed u like our mama does

BiggieZ: maybe but i think im curlier than dani every time momma brushes me i get staticks and then as soon as i wrestle i get all curly again

BiggieZ: Dani u look really huge there how much do u weigh? I have no idea how much i weigh but its over 100 something and momma measured me and said im 30 inches tall now

Spirit: just like u boyz all u can talk about is size
look at me below im striking a pose

DanTheMan: heh and youll make lightning devil eyes at everyone

Spirit: yeah well i still got way more points than u nyah nyah nyah and ur older

DanTheMan: u r such a brat i have to sit on you now
Spirit: ow get off me dfjksnj u r a fat
ass fgkg tyiodv df hfdk;lk

DanTheMan: and when we went to the shows i got to do a lot of pee mailing and we went in the Magic Box where the doors slid back and forth

BiggieZ: u mean like a store or a apartment building?

DanTheMan: no it was like a little box

BiggieZ: oh u mean a Ella Baiter

DanTheMan: whos ella is she in heat BOW WOW WOW 

BiggieZ: nevermind yah we have one in our building its pretty fun
if u sit u get treats
and sometimes its really squishy and full of people
if ur really lucky u might see another dog who lives there its really fun
especially if u start wrassling in there when u r on the leash

DanTheMan: i didnt do any wrassling i get enough at home
this time it was nice to have a vacation just with mama even if i had to share her with that little brat kid sister 

Spirit: mmmbtthh!! mmmmrrgggrrr!! get OFF lardo

BiggieZ: im gonna go bang my dish and see if momma feeds me im really hungry 

DanTheMan: l8r

Spirit: nbk dfh dfrtm bbrrrgh!!


Kess And Her Mama said...

You definitely need to get some meat soon Biggie! How else can you grow big and tall (er..ok..big "ger" and tall "er")

Anonymous said...

Poor Biggie!

You just need to age your meat a little. My guy would select one neck bone for "now" and the rest would be buried until they were juuuuust right. Your momma might not like the smell of aged chicken backs buried under the couch cushions though!

(My Guy started caching food from puppy hood. Fortunately, he only ever stuck biscuits under the cushions.)

Hope you get over your diaries soon!
Currently Dogless

Peanut said...

How can your mom and siblings all not give you meat. That isn't right.

Dannan and The Girl said...

Woah, Biggie, that is an OUTRAGE! That you are being STARVED, I am hopping mad at your Momma! A doggy needs MEAT! I'm gonna steal some from Nanny's house and send it to you. After I sample it to make sure it's eatable, of course. I'm sure there will be some left after I do my taste test.

Stanislaw said...

Those are some handsome beasts in those pictures! I think a dog show does take place at the bark park. You're right, Biggie.

Mom tries that BS fasting thing with me too when my tum is bad. What gives? Our tums already hurt and now they have to be empty and hurt?? BRING ON THE MEAT!

wally said...

Biggie! I'm on my way with meat! And your joke about moving the Palins to Texas made us all laugh out loud!

wally t.

ps. YES WE CAN eat meatables!

Mango said...

OK, you might get this twice because blogger tried to eat my comment.

I am worried that you are becoming a vega-tear-I-ran. You must be all skin and bones. Next thing you know your mom will give you a clensing enema. Watch out for that one.

Regarding leaking eyes. Biggie, dude, no matter if you are starving or not, its up to you to fix the eye leakage. You must muster yourself to perform acts of smoochie face and if that doesn't work then you will have to do something silly. I know its embarassing for a dignified guy like yourself, but you just have to.

I am prepared for any toy piling challenge. Just let me know the rules.


Georgeous said...

Big Rottie Kissies to your Mumma Biggie!! Our hoomans had water eyes a bit at the end of the year and it took them away from helping me with blogging too. They did feed me though bro. I'd send you some kibbles but I think your an all out meat eater???
Good luck with the bowl bashing and hey, lets start a bitey face show, the other show sounds a bit boring????

with love, Madison said...

Biggie, darling, you need meat? You are starving? You are in distress? I wish I could help. Now I am so upset ... is your mom making you eat lots of rice? This can't last long. Otherwise, come to my place okay?