Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Gender Identity

So do you pups out there ever have random people come up and assume you're a boy when you're a girl and vice versa? Jeez, I hate that. People don't make that mistake often with me, because I'm so big and I'm such a goofball. But last week my doggie day care lost my GREEN LEASH and so they sent me home with one of their leashes. Now all of a sudden everyone thinks I'm a girl! But I happen to like this leash since it makes me very visible (Biggie, you're so big you're visible anywhere...) and goes very nicely with my white fur. Who says hot pink is only for girls?? I am very comfortable with my masculinity, even after last week's experiment with cross-dressing.

(click on pic to enlarge)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Gettin' Biggie Wit It

P-Daddy decided he wanted to go play water polo after work so he came home only for a short time to let me go potty, and then HE PUT ME BACK IN MY BEDROOM. AND THEN HE LEFT AGAIN. 
The outrage! And he didn't even feed me dinner, and I am ALWAYS hungry. I lost my Kong Roller and P-Daddy also didn't give me any bully stick or anything new to play with, so I decided to Get Biggie With It. We kuvaszok love to make up our own games. 

Mommy went to an Event almost a month ago and she came back with some goodie bags. She put them on the bedroom floor weeks ago, and I have left them alone all this time. But goodie bags contain GOODIES, right? And all my toys were getting boring since I had played with them ALL DAY already and P-Daddy didn't give me anything new when he ABANDONED me. So I decided to see what puppy goodies were in there. 

There was a lot of paper and cardboard to get through, but I did find some good stuff. First, I found a plastic bottle of something called Joint Juice, that looked like Vitamin Water with glucosamine in it. Mommy is always worried about my hip displays, and I was thirsty anyway. But damn these paws! I couldn't get the cap off, so I bit some holes in the bottom of the bottle and drank it that way. Then when I was finished I crushed the bottle like a frat boy chugs a can of beer and smashes it on his head. (Ed. Note: And there was no dampness on the carpet - AT ALL.)

After my drink I wanted something to eat, but the best I could find was a lipstick. It was a lot of work to get to the creamy goodness, too. It was in a plastic and cardboard box and then it had a lipstick case that I had to take apart and leave little pieces of lipstick-case-shrapnel all over the bedroom floor. I got some lipstick on my paws when I was trying to put it on my lips. Again, damn these non-opposable dewclaws!

It really is hard work putting on makeup, so I had to take a nap. When Mommy and P-Daddy came home they saw me with lipstick on my paws and face (very visible on a white pup!) and shredded cardboard all hanging in my butt fur. I thought I looked quite decorative but you should have seen the horrified looks on their faces. They were so horrified that they forgot to take a picture of beautiful me! 

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Snow Day (video)

Remember when you were a kid and you'd wake up on a Saturday morning and everything had been TRANSFORMED the next day? And you could think of nothing else but to go running out in the snow?


So Mommy has been doing her business all over the country for the last three weeks and then even when she was in New York she ABANDONED me for TWO WHOLE DAYS!! (It's called an all-nighter, Biggie, and it was no fun for me either.) It was terrible. And also I fired my dog walker, Roger. I decided I would rather hold my potty and do my business with Mommy or P-Daddy and if Roger doesn't come in the middle of the day, Mommy and P-Daddy come home earlier. Plus, I'm turning into a big boy and I don't need a walker any more.

Something strange is happening here in Vermont. Big pieces of snow and ice are falling off the roof and the giant pile of snow on my play deck has turned into a thin covering of smushy, creaky snow. I finally made Mommy edit my video but it took her a while to put music on it to cover up all her dumb comments and snickering when I ran up to her. Also she says she doesn't always dress like that but she was grabbing the first clothes she could to get outside. Don't believe her. That's how she dresses when she walks me. It's terribly embarrassing. When she goes to work she looks totally different. I told her Bruce Wayne dresses well whether he's Batman or Bruce Wayne, but she doesn't listen to me that way. So the other night because I was lonely I pulled some of her pretty summer dresses of a shelf and made a nest of them. Mommy said it's still too cold to wear them.

Friday, March 7, 2008


Mommy on bizness
P-Daddy also bizness
Biggie at kennel

Kennel pupz iz fun
But not enuf attenshun
Make humans notice!

Lunge on leash! Bark! Snap!
I guard my pack and walker!
To guard is my job

Now I walk alone.
When my Mommy, Daddy home?
I have bath today.

Means I go home soon.
Look like show dog for 1 day
Then back to normal.

I respect Mommy,
I good for Daddy. But
Not so good, others.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

In like a lion...

Since this is my first March ever I am not sure what they mean by, "In like a lion, out like a lamb," because as far as I know lions have nothing to do with snow. Anyway, when we left New York City in February it was cold but clear. By the time we got to Vermont in March it was snowing really hard. Mommy and P-Daddy wouldn't even let me potty at our usual break point because of something about the snow falling too fast. My legs were so stiff and I was so sick of sitting quietly in the car that I started to chew my blanket until Daddy yelled at me. But I got to stretch my legs a bit when we got to Vermont, which was really fun.

This is me in the morning, getting excited about the snow.

We were just in VT last weekend but over the past week we got almost 30 INCHES of snow! The wind had drifted it all over my play deck. It was taller than me, and I'm 28 inches.


Sitting and staring forlornly at the snow does work, though by the time Mommy and P-Daddy let me out, the big plows had already come by and cleared a lot of the snow. Still, we were able to find some good games to play.... 

... like CATCH!

By the time I was done playing catch and climbing snow mountains and swimming in the snow, I was pretty well camouflaged. So I decided to pretend I was a polar bear. I really did not want to go inside but Mommy and P-Daddy found me because I am overdue for a bath and because I didn't hide with my face well enough. Oh well. I tried.  Video to come...