The outrage! And he didn't even feed me dinner, and I am ALWAYS hungry. I lost my Kong Roller and P-Daddy also didn't give me any bully stick or anything new to play with, so I decided to Get Biggie With It. We kuvaszok love to make up our own games.
Mommy went to an Event almost a month ago and she came back with some goodie bags. She put them on the bedroom floor weeks ago, and I have left them alone all this time. But goodie bags contain GOODIES, right? And all my toys were getting boring since I had played with them ALL DAY already and P-Daddy didn't give me anything new when he ABANDONED me. So I decided to see what puppy goodies were in there.
There was a lot of paper and cardboard to get through, but I did find some good stuff. First, I found a plastic bottle of something called Joint Juice, that looked like Vitamin Water with glucosamine in it. Mommy is always worried about my hip displays, and I was thirsty anyway. But damn these paws! I couldn't get the cap off, so I bit some holes in the bottom of the bottle and drank it that way. Then when I was finished I crushed the bottle like a frat boy chugs a can of beer and smashes it on his head. (Ed. Note: And there was no dampness on the carpet - AT ALL.)
After my drink I wanted something to eat, but the best I could find was a lipstick. It was a lot of work to get to the creamy goodness, too. It was in a plastic and cardboard box and then it had a lipstick case that I had to take apart and leave little pieces of lipstick-case-shrapnel all over the bedroom floor. I got some lipstick on my paws when I was trying to put it on my lips. Again, damn these non-opposable dewclaws!
It really is hard work putting on makeup, so I had to take a nap. When Mommy and P-Daddy came home they saw me with lipstick on my paws and face (very visible on a white pup!) and shredded cardboard all hanging in my butt fur. I thought I looked quite decorative but you should have seen the horrified looks on their faces. They were so horrified that they forgot to take a picture of beautiful me!