The picture above is after Momma picked herself up off the ground. Doesn't she look like she won the lottery? Well, she sort of did, because I passed my Canine Good Citizen test on the very first try! No practice, no pre-test cramming, no studying. The last class I had was a year ago when I was 4 months old. Momma was in disbelief.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the CGC test, there are 10 stations that you have to pass with an evaluator. You can use verbal and hand commands, but you can't use any treats or food, you can only reward with praise:
1. Accepting a friendly stranger.
Oh hi. Momma told me to sit. So I will smell you from afar. You smell like dogs. When are you going to start the test?
2. Sitting politely for petting.
You smell like dogs. And you know how to pet us. Hi my name is Biggie what's yours? Ok, I guess I'll let you pet the top of my head.
3. Appearance and grooming.
My fur is deep. The dirt is ground in after 4 days at camp. As long as you just pet me on the surface I don't feel too dirty. Yeah, brushing is fine. I'll just stand here and drool at the hamburger stand back there. You want to grab my paws? ummm... I dunno. Well, ... I guess so... cuz you smell like a nice dog lady.
4. Loose lead walking.
Piece of cake! I had to walk in an L and back while the crowd watching me get tested admired my grace and beauty and bigness. Yo - catch you in the dog run later.
5. Walking through a crowd.
Duh, how do you think I got here?? (see picture -->)
6. Sit and Down on command and Staying in place.
Sitting is easy, but you want me to do WHAT? Aw Mom, there's hundreds of people watching and you want me to be all submissive? I don't wanna.
There's all these people behind me and someone's grilling burgers back there and there is a siren going off and there is a very pretty labragal over there I want to impress and there's a little girl terrier over there. Hi I'm Biggie wanna be my girlfriends? I. Don't. Wanna. Down.
It is unseemly. Unbecoming of someone as majestic as I.
Momma, are you still breathing? Sigh. Ok. For you I will do it, but I'm going to pretend I meant to lie down to look at this bug on the ground.
You're welcome Momma. You can breathe again.
Sit-stay? You got it. Anything so I don't have to Down in front of all these people again.
7. Coming when called.
You're kidding, right? Ok. Hold on. Meditating and looking for that labragal again. Sheesh. 10 feet isn't that far away. Why do I have to go all the way over there? I can watch you just fine from here. Ok, ok. I'm coming. Must. Stand. Up. Don't get your panties in a knot, Momma, I'm coming. One. Foot. In. Front. Of. The. Other. Hey, no one said this was a time trial! I'll come when I'm ready.
8. Reaction to another dog.
Oh hi, met you earlier while we were waiting to go into the test. I know, they are making us do some strange things and we're not even getting paid for it. What. Ever. I know, my Momma is weirdly excited too.
9. Reaction to distraction.
Momma, this whole park is ONE GIANT DISTRACTION! (see picture above, click to enlarge) Do you seriously think I'm going to notice when the nice dog lady raps her pen on her clipboard and then drops it in front of me? She smells nice but she's really clumsy. I've seen her drop it like 10 times already!
10. Supervised separation.
Ok I will sit-stay with the nice dog lady even though she said something about maybe I will rip her shoulder out. How many times do I have to tell you I did NOT have anything to do with Momma's 2 shoulder splurgeries? If I'd been there to protect her maybe she wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place. Don't worry nice dog lady, I will sit right next to you and make everyone look at us. Aren't I handsome? I'm so proud to be here, thank you, thank you, yes. Thank you all for coming to admire my amazing fluffness with your humans.
... Momma's being so silly - she's going behind that big tree. Momma, I know you're there. Maybe if I stare really hard at the tree I can make Momma come out again.
... Hey Momma! I know magic! I used my amazing mind powers to make you come all the way back from the tree!
Wow, Momma, you're really excited! Thanks for the huggins, I love you too.
George: Thank you for the Golden Paw Award! You must have ESP because you gave it to me the day after I passed my test!